FibDems

Job Done!

2007-10-15T18:37:00.000Z

Mission (nearly) accomplished

Spot the Difference

2007-09-23T11:46:00.000Z

"The Scottish Liberal Democrats are a Unionist Party, and the Scottish Parliament has a clear Unionist majority."

Nicol Stephen the FibNat:

"We want a stronger Scottish Parliament; a Parliament with revenue raising responsibilities, with the greater powers needed to build the Scottish economy and boost Scottish jobs. We can't go on with a Parliament that just spends money given to it by another government."

Clear as mud then.

Harvey Two Face was pleased at how his new job as Nicol's spin doctor was playing

Still going down the toilet

2007-09-23T11:38:00.000Z

Just when Ming thought he had escaped talk of leadership worries up pops John Farquhar Munro to stick another knife in:

LIBERAL DEMOCRAT leader Menzies Campbell has suffered another challenge to his authority after one of his party's MSPs said he should be replaced by Charles Kennedy.

John Farquhar Munro, MSP for Ross, Skye and Inverness West, said Campbell had not been a success as leader as he was "not a good people person". He added that he would sign Kennedy's nomination papers today if asked to.

And more.

Asked if he now believed Kennedy should replace Campbell, Munro said: "Yes I do, but after the next election," adding: "However, I would sign his nomination papers now, if he wanted it."

On the differences between the two Scottish LibDem MPs, he said: "Charles seemed to attract the electorate, but Ming is different. The main difference is not policy or promotion of policy, it's PR. Ming is not a good PR man, he is not a good people person."

Asked if he thought Campbell had been a success as leader, he said: "No, I don't think so. I don't think he has been the sort of enthusiastic, firebrand leader that we have needed at this time."

John was so desperate to get rid of Ming he even signed Charlie's nomination papers in Gaelic...Swahili, French, German, Dutch...

Constructive Xenophobia?

2007-09-22T15:32:00.000Z

When Tim Reid wrote this did he fall asleep and dream Ming Campbell made a barn stormer speech? Because I certainly did when I started listening to it. Well fall asleep that is. I actually dreamt about being attacked by rubber bar charts and woke up in a cold sweat.

But never mind all that. Tim does provide us with some interesting information that recalls the heady days of Fib Dem arrogance when they thought calling others xenophobes and anti-English would win them votes.

It's all a bit undermined when you read this section:

"It makes you wonder why we bother coming down to these English conferences at all," one Scottish delegate moaned.

And given that the leader's chief of staff, Ed Davey, described anywhere outside London, including Edinburgh, as "the sticks" fewer may bother making the trip next year.

Ah, so those nice Scottish Fibs don't actually like their English compatriots and refer to their British conference as 'English' and their English compatriots view them as yokels.

But with the FibDems being FibNats it wouldn't be like them if they didn't practice a bit of Fiberal Unionism as well just so they could keep their end up in that direction. As Tim writes:

But after Sir Ming's apparent contempt for what he describes as the 'cosy consensus' between Labour and the Tories, one that he insists the Lib Dems are going to fight against, some were left wondering what that made their talks in Scotland.

The Lib Dems say there is an important distinction. The talks between Nicol Stephen, Wendy Alexander and Annabel Goldie are based on "constructive co- operation" apparently rather than cosy consensus, they say.

Hmmmm, yes. I believe that is being called "caught out" once again.

Liberal Democrats - Lying Failures

2007-09-19T13:44:00.000Z

The conference just keeps on getting worse for Ming Campbell. Channel four’s fact checker gave one of their worst ratings ever, after looking over Ming’s claim that their tax policy would help 90% of households. After examining their outrageous and absurd proposals Channel Four said:

There just isn't the evidence to back it up - and with the IFS, the country's most respected independent financial thinktank, unable to see how the necessary calculations could be done - there isn't likely to be any time soon.

Well it looks like the Liberal Democrats have been caught in the act again.

Calculators have never proved a popular item at LibDem conferences

Ming: I'm a failure

2007-09-18T10:25:00.000Z

Ol’Squealer was happily snoozing through the recess when he was rudely awakened by Ming Campbell imploding in grand fashion at the Fib’s annual conference in Brighton. So loud was the commotion it was covered here, here, here, here and pretty much everywhere – Squealer gave up counting the articles.

The cause of the commotion – Ming hilariously confirming what we already know – he is a failure. It was just better to hear him say it for himself. Even Kennedy was keen to get a boot in when:

Asked if he thought conditions were "harder" today than when he was leader and the party was doing better in the polls, he said: "No, I don't think so. There's nothing that has come as a surprise. It is nothing that should be fazing us at the moment."

Ouch – and to continue the gaffes the Ming confused Italy, with India and the conference staff spelt his name "Sir Menzeis Campbell”.

Squealer honestly, in his wildest dreams, could not imagine a better Lib Dem conference. And to top it all off – Ming gets this picture taken…

Ming showed us his political future

Liberal Democrats - A party of the people, for the people?

2007-08-30T11:23:00.000Z

Squealer snorted again with delight this morning after reading what the leader of Edinburgh City Council wants to do to separate her from the ‘hoi polloi’. Finally the truth from the Fibs about what they really think of the citizenry (or subjects?). Jenny Dawe, the leader of Edinburgh City Council, and a Liberal Democrat (Aristocrat?) said, "…there are important civic occasions when I feel it would be important to set us apart from the hoi polloi".

As a part of the hoi polloi Squealer is as disgusted as everyone else by this rare truthful admission from the Fib Dems. Apparently to the Lib Dems some animals are more equal than others.

Naturally and rightfully this has sparked outrage – the Fibs want to play expensive dressing up while they close schools all over Edinburgh.

Jenny realised that these corsages were not enough to seperate her from the Hoi Polloi

Fightin Fibs!

2007-08-29T13:21:00.000Z

It has been a long and lazy summer for Squealer. However since recent events, being so cleverly predicted by the pundits on these pages, have started to come to fruition, comment must be made.

It looks like the knives are out, yet again, for both leaders of the Fibs. First for ol’Ming and more pertinently for Scotland, Nicol ‘who’ Stephen. It seems that Charles Kennedy won’t quell rumours of his return and Marilyne MacLaren who is presiding over the closure of many schools in Edinburgh, is keen for Nicol to go and Ravishing Tavishing Scott to take over.

This may come as a surprise to some, but not to us, as we reported these not so hidden tensions long ago. If they think the summer was bad, Squealer suggests it may be the winter of their discontent as well.

Ms MacLaren was less than overjoyed at prospects for the upcoming winter

Whoops! Another Fine!

2007-07-25T15:24:00.000Z

Ohhhh man.....It has been awhile for Squealer. But he had to get back into the game when he saw this screamer that came across the wire. Looks like the Fibs are going to have to another fine, as we reported earlier. The incompetence. The shame.

Looks like they failed to get their books in order. Didn't get their accounts in to the Electoral Commission in time.

Oh My Lord!

2007-07-02T13:06:00.000Z

According to this report in the Telegraph it would appear that a FibDem Lord has actually woken up to the true nature of his party:

Sir Menzies Campbell is facing a leadership challenge within weeks of taking his party to a record low in the polls and entering into talks with Gordon Brown.

A group of Liberal Democrat MPs and peers have resolved to call for Sir Menzies to stand down this month if the party finishes in third place in two forthcoming by-elections, The Sunday Telegraph can reveal.

Sir Menzies has been struggling to maintain his authority for months amid rising unhappiness over his poor public performances and lack of impact in the opinion polls. Tensions in the party boiled over at a private meeting of the party at Westminster last week at which one senior Lib Dem peer openly called him a "liar" for failing to inform the party of his talks with Mr Brown.

"There is now outright rebellion," one senior Lib Dem said. "We are absolutely livid."

Livid at being found out no doubt but old Porridge is intrigued as to the identity of the senior Lib Dem peer. Anyone know?

"A liar" - Senior Lib Dem peer

And they're off!!!

2007-07-02T12:42:00.000Z

An appalling smear on our favourite party from Iain Dale. It would appear the Tories are alleging that the Fibs are offering cash prizes to people who put up their posters.

It beggars belief that the FibDems would act in such a manner.

As any fool knows it's sweeties they hand out as prizes.

At £50 a poster and a rather large repayment to make Ming was desperately trying to ignore the angry claims coming in

In these troubled times

2007-07-01T19:38:00.000Z

Old Porridge has recieved an e-mail from a reader which questions the moral focus of those "nice" LibDems.

Whilst we have:

Two rudimentary car bombs found in London

An attack at Glasgow airport

The threat level raised to critical

Arrests in Liverpool and Newcastle-under-Lyme

A controlled explosion in a hospital car park

What are the LibDems blogging about most?

By-election tittle tattle and their usual character assasinations of opponents in the Ealing Southall by-election. (Which is itself telling since they are claiming the Tories have no chance - frightened of them are we chaps?)

Just look at their posts on LibDem Voice and LibDem Blogs and the times they have been posted.

Since the London incidents all we have had on LibDem Voice has been four posts, THREE of which are about the by-election and one about a conference. Their by-election ones have been the usual spurious claims of "winning here" and attacking or maligning opponents. No positive reasons to vote LibDem.

Meanwhile on LibDem Blogs we get a flavour of what LibDems think are the most important issues since the current attacks. Yes, you've guessed it. The Ealing Southall by-election.

Out of 78 blog posts their favourite subject has 11 posts at 5:47pm, 2:34pm, 12:12pm, 12:00pm, 11:34am on Sunday and 10:27pm, 9:56pm, 8:22pm, 7:58pm, 6:17pm and 12:06pm on the Saturday. Only one refers to the London bombings and the rest are generally locally focussed.

It is often said the LibDems are a bit weird and obsessed with by-elections but this litany of blogging exposes that weird obsession as ranging on the immoral. It seems winning by-elections by using fraudulent and dubious messages is more important to them than national security.

I'm sure the London voters of Ealing Southall will be less than confident that this is a party with their security interests at heart rather than just grubbing their votes once this obsession is pointed out to them.

After all even one of LibDem Voice's posters has realised what impression this obsession will give:

H-Lad Says: July 1st, 2007 at 3:22 pm

Please stop this!!!!! If you want the Tories trawling through every LibDem blog and what every LibDem “activist” or “member” says up and down the country then this is thr right way to go about it. And I bet you we’ve said worse things … What is wrong with the LDV team at the moment - wrong judgement lads.

Quite right H-Lad but the cat's out the bag already. Your party's "immoral focus" is exposed by your own members blogging record.

Rattled!

2007-06-27T13:35:00.000Z

Another bummer for Ming. Just as he comes out ~~pompously~~ rattling in vain attempt to explain how marginalised his party has meant to be a poll confirms why they are now both marginalised and rattled.

It may also have not been a good choice of words to use the one "cages" considering which party has a major donor in the clink.

Ming was ecstatic at the news of Gordon Brown's arrival and his new poll ratings

And another thing

2007-06-22T14:50:00.001Z

Beau Bo D'Or has a nice line on the Fibs discomfiture entitled 'Gordon Brown - Bad Ol’ Putty Tat':

The Pain! The Pain!

2007-06-22T13:57:00.000Z

What a blinder Gordon Brown has played on the Fibs. Obviously knowing their capacity to seek office over principle (what principle you ask?), he sets them up by making an offer, which have been the stuff of rumour and speculation for some time, then gets it splattered across the pages of the press, which is then followed by furious ~~Fibbing~~ denials which then turn out to be true and even truer. The resultant fury from the Fibs is quite enjoyable as they know this very public airing of back room deals will on the one hand annoy their anti-Labour voters and whilst making them look like sneaks who will do anything for power. Meanwhile Gordon twists the knife a bit more by looking ever so reasonable.

And all at a time when Ming's electoral value crashes and burns.

The upshot is a very enjoyable avalanche of much gnashing of teeth and soor plooms from the Found-Out-FibDems here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, here, and here.

Even Old Porridge has to say that the soon-to-be PM has played this brilliantly as his overtures have obviously convinced the Fibs to stay out of power in Scotland and Wales just before he releases the hares on his overtures.

Hear the one about the FibDems getting a taste of their own medicine?

Elderly Scots

2007-06-21T14:05:00.000Z

Iain Dale has a great post giving a synopsis of the whole fiasco over the Fibs being 'offered' Cabinet posts by Brown. I really can't believe Ming took the bait. We have been following his idiocy for quite some time but this is really something else. He has totally lost the plot. The Tories really must be over the moon.

Simon Hughes excitedly pointed to his new seat across the floor

HMS MORON

2007-06-20T14:29:00.000Z

A TRADE union leader has accused MP Willie Rennie of “scaremongering” following comments he made about Rosyth dockyard.

Oh no Willie. Read the whole article if you want a good laugh. Wil-lie as the Union offical correctly points out is actually on the defence committee and still doesn't know what's up. But it isn't ignorance, its pure spin. But we all know the Wil-lie never plays politics in the defence sector.

Willie's annoucement that the lego aircraft carrier fleet would provide over 4 jobs was met with silence

Mark Webster – Mission Impossible

2007-06-06T12:10:00.000Z

It now seems that the Fib’s want to put some ‘zing into Ming’. My goodness. After a little hiatus Squealer returns to this madness. We all know how well Ming did in England and Scotland in the last elections. Whoops….I suppose there was a secret phase - phase 1.5 with the mission statement "We must make Ming and the party appear rudderless, stagnant, not a real party in the running and even if we are lucky to actually go backwards and lose seats."

So far it is all going to plan.

Good luck Mark!

Mark was all smiles until he realised he actually had to accomplish phase 2

Ming Must Go!

2007-05-16T11:09:00.000Z

Ming has had a bad year, a terrible month and a god-awful last two weeks. The Times today reveals that Ming is even hated in his own party! 54% of LibDem voters want him to go. Ouch!

Clearly their disastrous result in the Scottish Parliament Election is finally coming home to roost.

Of course we here at Fib’s have been following his downfall for quite some time. The knives are out again – Squealer cannot contain his joy!

The 'Say No to Ming' Rally was very well attended by the FibDem faithful

Poll update v2

2007-05-14T10:46:00.000Z

Just a quick little note from Squealer. On our poll of who is the most ridiculous FibDem in Scotland, please don’t vote for Euan Robson, he got the boot from Roxburgh and Berwickshire. Well actually, feel free to keep voting. You can see how is campaign is going here.

Also readers will be happy to know that wrong day Crockart was also unsuccessful in his bid to take Edinburgh North and Leith. His dodgy bar-chart didn't quite make the grade.

Ming Must Stay!

2007-05-12T15:22:00.000Z

He does after all provide us with this description of last Thursday's result as a 'mixed bag'.

Obviously this bag of sweeties didn't have Wurther's Old Original as a look at the results shows:

In Wales they achieved an enormous swing which saw their representation increase from 6 to a mind boggingly humumgous 6.

England was even better as they stormed to losing 246 council seats in a night of ecstatic celebration.And in Scotland they overtook all expectations by becoming the (fourth) largest party by increasing their overall total by minus 1 seat.

Maybe Ming was referring to Scotland when he referred to the results as a 'mixed bag' - a 'mixed bag' of target seats for all the other parties.

Old Porridge does take some delight in seeing the seat at the core of Michael Moore's constituency shape up to be a Tory gain next time round. One wonders when Michael will realise that being Ming's former chief of staff and current foreign affairs spokesperson may not be that rewarding, particularly since the council took on a brighter shade of blue.

The swing to the Nats in Argyll must have Mr Alan Reid wondering if he can airbrush out all mentions of that nice Mr Lyon from future leaflets. But since the council has gone semi-yellow and shut out the Fibs it may not leave the best impression of a party in decline.

Finally our old favourite Jo Swinson looks a dead cert for the chop as her core seat of Strathkelvin and Bearsden saw Labour not only take the prize but the Fibs crash to FIFTH place! They also lost control of the council in spectacular fashion.

Maybe Messers Reid and Moore and Miss Swinson will read the runes about Ming but the signs are that the party is in denial. Leaving them to regret not dusting off their CV's now.

Ming had suddenly become less keen on using bar charts

Fibbing in Aberdeen

2007-05-01T20:00:00.000Z

The Aberdeen Leader is the Fib Dem newspaper for Aberdeen Central, an oxymoronic title if ever there were one given the Fibs' dismal third place finish in 2003.

On the back page of the paper is a small piece endorsing the Lib Dem candidate, one Councillor John Stewart, who just so happens to also be the council candidate for George Street/Harbour.

This raises the interesting prospect of him earning close to £70,000 to do both jobs part time if elected, which I am sure the hard working taxpayers of Aberdeen would be delighted about.

Anyway, the piece endorsing him is a soundbite from one Matthew Maguire, an Aberdeen resident.

When one looks at the bottom of the paper, where the tiny print reveals the location of the printer and the name of the election agent, one discovers that Mr Stewart's election agent is a certain Matthew Maguire...shurely shome mishtake?

Also, as we previously reported in Edinburgh North & Leith, the paper is printed in Peterborough, which slightly undermines the Liberals' "Green Pledges" which feature prominently inside.

LibDem’s in Edinburgh, “We’re Lying Here!”

2007-04-26T11:38:00.000Z

I’m sure loyal readers will remember us highlighting enivro-ruining, wrong-polling-day Mike Crockart, FibDem candidate for Edinburgh North and Leith. He is continuing his duping of the voters, (this time to his benefit) with a classic FibDem ‘bar chart’. This has been raised many times elsewhere, the old “using the last election as an example” trick even though that is CLEARLY MISLEADING THE VOTER as it refers to a Westminster election not a Scottish Parliament election. The Scotsman yesterday said:

“The Lib Dems' election literature also uses a bar chart showing them just five per cent behind Labour. It is labelled "The result here last time" without explaining that means the Westminster rather than Holyrood election.”

Classic duplicitous lying fibbery from the Liberal Democrats. Hopefully the voters expose him for what he really is.

Mike insisted that this was an accurate chart

Nicol 'who' Stephen™

2007-04-24T09:21:00.000Z

Squealer is pleased that the FibDem coined phrase Nicol ‘Who’ Stephen is finally getting the recognition it deserves, as seen in the Sunday Herald. It would appear that Iain MacWhirter is a regular reader.

The Police were convinced that Nicol was in line up.

It’s A Capitally Rubbish Idea!

2007-04-22T09:51:00.000Z

For all their claims to be green, the LibDems want to turn beautiful Edinburgh into the worlds biggest rubbish dump. Once a month, people will be encouraged to dump all their trash on the curb and you can go out and pick up what you want. You are encouraged to leave beds, chairs and computers. The comments below the story speak for themselves….

Edinburgh FibDems were happy that the residents took to the new scheme with such enthusiasm

Bill for Fibs dodgy dealings: £4.8 million

2007-04-22T09:05:00.000Z

Well it looks like the Fib’s dodgy dealings have finally caught up with them. The Electoral Commission want them to pay a £2.4 million fine for accepting their ol’ pal Michael Brown’s £2.4 million pound donation. He won’t get it back of course, he’s in jail. He’s only facing 18 charges.

But it gets worse as apparently a, “group of millionaires who invested in the company, 5th Avenue Partners Ltd, insist the money is theirs and have demanded repayment- meaning the Lib Dems will have to find another £2.4m on top of the fine imposed for taking the cash.”

So Squealer reckons, calculator in hand, that the total is £4.8 million. OUCH! The Scotland on Sunday covers all this here, suggesting that the members of the Fiberal Democrat party will have to cough up a good £60 quid each. Of course we have covered all of these developments here, here, here, here, and here. It’s such a good read that I had to put in the full copy.

Lib Dems face ruin over £4m 'fine'

THE Liberal Democrats are facing a potentially ruinous bill of up to £4.8m after taking donations from a crooked Scots businessman, Scotland on Sunday can reveal. Party funding watchdogs last night confirmed that the impact of Charles Kennedy's decision to accept £2.4m from Michael Brown could be doubled if the Lib Dems have to pay back the entrepreneur's former business associates, as well as a matching "fine" imposed as a punishment for accepting the cash.

The Electoral Commission is set to order the party to return the 2005 donation amid suspicions that Brown's company was not doing business in the UK at the time of the payment, making it impermissible under funding rules.

But, rather than going back to Brown, the £2.4m would have to be paid as a "fine" into the Consolidated Fund, the government's Bank of England account.

To make matters worse, a group of millionaires who invested in the company, 5th Avenue Partners Ltd, insist the money is theirs and have demanded repayment- meaning the Lib Dems will have to find another £2.4m on top of the fine imposed for taking the cash. A senior source at the commission last night confirmed they were considering using their full powers against the party, which is already more than £1m in the red.

The double demand could force Lib Dem chiefs to go cap- in-hand to the party membership for extra contributions of at least £50-£60 per person. The Electoral Commission source said: "There is a double jeopardy element in this situation. If the commission rules that the donation must be returned, it clearly cannot go back to the donor himself, so it must be paid into the consolidated fund.

"The demands of creditors or investors would be completely separate to that and up to the party to settle independently."

The Brown donation, the biggest-ever received by the Liberal Democrats, has been subject to intense scrutiny since former leader Kennedy gratefully accepted it as a huge contribution to the £4.9m cost of running the party's 2005 election campaign. Although little was known about the Majorca-based tycoon, it later emerged that he was born in a run-down part of Glasgow's West End and ended up in Majorca after making a £10m fortune from property deals and City trading.

But holes in Brown's story began appearing under closer inspection soon after details of his financial support were revealed. The High Court ruled that his company was fraudulent and had never traded, he was extradited from Spain and jailed for two years last September after admitting perjury and a passport offence. Lawyers for Martin Edwards, former Manchester United chairman, two Chinese tycoons and an American lawyer have since written to the party saying they believe that the money is theirs.

Last week, Brown was charged with 18 further offences including money laundering and theft. Brown will also face allegations of perverting the course of justice and fraud. The donation was part of an investigation by City of London Police into allegations of a £45m high-yield fraud. He is the subject of an international money-laundering investigation by police as well as facing civil action by the HSBC bank.

The donations have exposed the Lib Dems to ridicule and recriminations from opponents who believe Brown's intervention gave them an unfair advantage during the 2005 election.
Edinburgh MP Nigel Griffiths believes Brown's cash was pumped into marginal constituencies like his own to bolster the Lib Dem attack.

"The money should be returned immediately," he said. "The man who gave it to them is in jail and Ming Campbell and the Liberal Democrats used that £2.4m in seats like mine, tens of thousands of pounds to try and buy the seats."

A Lib Dem spokeswoman last night confirmed they had been made aware of the "double jeopardy" threat hanging over the party's head.

She added: "Our legal advice is robust and on the basis of this our auditors advised that we need not make provision for any repayments.

"The party acted in good faith at all times in relation to these donations, which were properly spent on the Westminster general election campaign two years ago."

The Electoral Commission was not pleased at the Liberal Democrat choice of re-payment

FibDem Poll Update

2007-04-20T14:24:00.000Z

Squealer is all riled up about polling and the Scottish Parliament Election. In a poll that rivals the LibDem's standards for accuracy and margin of error, we are proud to once again publish our ‘Who is the Most Ridiculous Lib Dem in Scotland Poll’. It has pushed by the significant 300 mark. (This is about 300 times the average sample size used by Fibs in their dodgy bar charts.)

Jo Swinson 30%, Nicol Stephen 21%, Willie Rennie 18%, George Lyon 8%, Alan Reid 6%, Danny Alexander 6%

Squealer believes that Oh No Jo Swinson is a strong frontrunner. However he is slightly perplexed that people even knew to vote for Nicol ‘Who’ Stephen since no one appears to know who he is. Willie Rennie is an outside favourite, and given his position on tolling and cluster bombs, he could rumble his Westminster colleague if his hypocrisy continues. We encourage all readers to vote, and if there are any fibs who you think should be added to the list, please let us know.

Ming appeared confused by the words 'significant sample size', 'accuracy', 'margin of error', 'representative' and 'truthful' when he was considering a polling firm.

Uncanny!

2007-04-20T13:32:00.000Z

Odd what you find on the web:

...Danny Alexander of Take ‘Em As They Come writes about Beyonce and Shakira’s duet hit, "Beautiful Liar"...

Well we could agree with the latter word but as for the first!!!

It's always unintentional...ly dodgy

2007-04-20T13:09:00.000Z

After his behaviour in Moray you would have thought Dodgy would be more careful, particularly in his own patch. But not so as his local paper takes him to task over using photos he shouldn't have.

COMPANY BOSS UP IN ARMS AT LIB DEMS' LEAFLET
19 April 2007

An Electoral gaffe by the Liberal Democrats has infuriated the boss of the Highlands' biggest private employer.

Mike Crowe, managing director of diabetes testing-kit giant Inverness LifeScan, is understood to have personally phoned the city's Lib Dem MP, Danny Alexander, requesting that the party halt further distribution of a campaign leaflet because it may be interpreted as a company endorsement. It features an old photograph of a smiling Mr Crowe alongside Stuart Black, of Highlands and Islands Enterprise, Lib Dem Scottish leader Nicol Stephen and party election candidate Craig Harrow in hard hats on the construction site of the city's Centre for Health Sciences.

LifeScan spokeswoman Elaine Bailey said: "The photograph was taken some time ago at a local business event and has been used out of context and without the prior knowledge or permission of LifeScan Scotland.

"LifeScan remains politically neutral and will continue to interact with members of all political parties during the course of its normal business activities."

Mr Alexander said: "The photograph was used to illustrate strong Liberal Democrat support for the impressive new Centre for Health Sciences in Inverness, which Nicol Stephen visited at Craig Harrow's invitation last year.

"It was not intended to imply any endorsement of the party by LifeScan, who we know do not support any party, but whose investment in Inverness and in the Centre for Health Sciences is critically important to our local economy."

He added: "The leaflet does not name LifeScan or Mike Crowe. It was not about implying an endorsement by anyone. It was about explaining our endorsement for the Centre for Health Sciences, which is a very important development for the Highlands.

"I think anyone who reads the leaflet should have no difficulty in understanding the point that is being made. We have no intention, and had previously no intention, of using the photograph again. It was about making a specific point about the local economy in a specific context."

Mr Black, now HIE's director of global connections, said: "It should be obvious that this photograph was taken during one of many events surrounding the Centre for Health Science. No political relevance should be attached to it."

Oh dear. That will have the tongues wagging about the "Ginger Minger" and his sneaky "not intended" behaviour again.

LibDems and BNP - Stronger together

2007-04-20T12:27:00.000Z

We picked up on this gem a bit late from Iain Dale. It appears that the LibDems are happy to support the BNP if it suits their purpose. Of course we flagged their xenophobia a long time ago. Perhaps they will make a happy couple.

For reasons not yet explained, Cllr. Jones signed the nomination papers of BNP candidate Daniel Brown, who is also standing in the town's North Road ward. As Cllr. Jones also signed the nomination papers of fellow LibDem candidates Mike Barker and Fred Lawton, he was effectively placing his own candidacy in a very curious position!

Perhaps not surprisingly, Cllr. Jones has been ousted as the LibDem Group Leader as their first response to the crisis, and the local party has put out a very terse statement which leaves more questions unanswered. Principally, how on earth can an experienced councillor like Steven Jones claim that he signed the nomination papers "as a mistake?"

What local LibDems want everyone to forget is that their party has been involved in shady involvement with the BNP in this part of town before. It was only Labour's exposure of the cosying-up between the LibDems, the Tories and the BNP in the short-lived Harrowgate Hill Community Group (sic) in 2003 which caused that venture to collapse.

The tragedy is that when the three main democratic parties in Darlington should have maintained a united front against racist politics in the town during this election, the LibDem's Leader has blown awaythat front with the stroke of his pen. I don't think this is the last we'll hear of this story by any means.

We couldn't agree with Iain more when he says, "Maybe the normal LibDem slogan “Only the Lib Dems can defeat [Party name here] should be replaced by "Only the Lib Dems can get the BNP onto the ballot paper”. Just a thought. Only trying to be helpful."

"We are winning here! With LibDem help!"

They certainly pick 'em

2007-04-18T18:15:00.000Z

How appropriate. Dunfermline's MPS is Will-lie Rennie. Their Scottish Parliament candidate for the same area is called Jim Tolson - as in Jim Tolls-on.

How appropriate considering they're wee con is now boxed in.

Hugh Janus was disappointed at not getting the nomination

Tavish trashes Fibs campaign

2007-04-18T17:50:00.000Z

So much for a united party with momentum. It would appear from today's Telegraph that they are at it like ferrets in sack (just as we said) as Tavish goes maverick with the campaign:

Nicol had better watch his back

By Alan Cochrane
Last Updated: 12:01am BST 18/04/2007

Election notebook

Scotland's least exciting politician, aka Nicol Stephen, leader of the Scottish Liberal Democrats, would be well advised to watch his back.

Word reaches me that his thus-far trusted friend and colleague, Tavish Scott, is mounting a bit of a freelance operation during this campaign. Mr Scott, who stood aside in Mr Stephen's favour during last year's election for the Lib Dem leadership, was widely praised last week when he almost single-handedly rescued his party's manifesto launch.

It was Mr Scott who had to fill in the many and varied holes in the Lib Dem programme, after Mr Stephen got fed up answering - or rather not answering - difficult questions about his party's possible coalition deal with the SNP.

This has obviously gone to the Transport Minister's head as he has taken to putting his own "spin" on the campaign so far by briefing selected hacks about his post election plans.

I have absolutely no doubt that nothing untoward is going on but, still, if I was Mr Stephen, I'd ask for a transcript of yesterday's meeting between Mr Scott and his three scribbling pals.

But then Trash-it does have a record of mucking things up. That he's made the Fibs look obsessed with constitutional matters shouldn't be a surprise.

Campaign meetings between Tavish and Nicol had become a trifle strained

A new policy for yoof

2007-04-15T12:51:00.000Z

After making much of their commitment to the yoof vote it would appear from the Fib's own site they have a new policy - cropping them!

Now it's Mr Thingeys

2007-04-15T12:45:00.000Z

It doesn't say much for Mr Thingey's claim that the public are dying for him to be First Minister when his own candidates can't even get his name right:

Swimming Star meets with Nora Radcliffe and Nicol Stephens

Thu 12th Apr 2007

Leader of the Scottish Liberal Democrats Nicol Stephen and local candidate Nora Radcliffe last week met with Inverurie swimming star Hannah Miley to congratulate her on behalf of Gordon and the North East of Scotland.

And just in case it's changed here it is for posterity:

Just where is Dodgy's Election Agent's from?

2007-04-15T12:26:00.000Z

Old Porridge has been contacted by a viewing conspirator who raises an interesting point about the supposed "locality" of the FibDems candidate for Inverness East and all those other places - a one Craig Harrow.

Craig has been punting himself about (hand in hand with Dodgy) that he is a "local" candidate. Here is doing it here and here. It also appears he is describing himself as coming from the "south Highlands". He was also Dodgy's election agent in 2005.

According to the Highland Council's website it would appear that his "address" for this campaign is Aviemore.

However Old Porridge's viewing conspirator has pointed to the 192.com site which paints a different picture on Craig's locality.

A search for "Craig Harrow" and "Aviemore" conjures up this response:

Odd. But my viewing conspirator tells me to search for "Craig Harrow" and "Crieff" which conjures up this response:

Oh dear. Yet another example of the FibDems trying to fool the voters.

It was hard hats all round as the voters found out that the Fibs weren't exactly honest

Prostitute Party

2007-04-13T12:26:00.000Z

Squealer was just tuning into Radio Scotland where they are doing a hustings in Inverness. Its basically like one of those games you get at the amusement park where you bash things with a hammer. The only thing that is popping up is Lib Dems. One audience member said ‘they would get into bed with anyone, they are the prostitute party’. Fib cllr Mr. Michael Foxley responded that the libs were actually picky about who they got into bed with...given Stephen's gaffe about what policies were for sale puts that in doubt.

They really should listen to the people. Friday from 12-1:30 on "listen again" is what you are looking for. Start at 1:23. Or listen to the whole thing...its a Lib Dem Bash fest.

Struggling to be heard

2007-04-11T10:23:00.000Z

Squealer is really scratching his head after the Fib’s manifesto launch. Apparently the sound system didn’t even work at the launch but the hacks didn’t mind…there wasn’t anything to cover anyway.

Doing the math so far the Liberal Democrats have promised 100 new local health centres, 2000 nurses, 1000 cops. Well we aren’t the first to notice that this simply doesn’t wash. What were they doing for the LAST 8 YEARS in Government? Given their recent amazing polling figures, it seems the electorate are wise to this con as well.

~~Fred~~, ~~Nicky~~, ~~Jeb~~, Nicol Stephen was happy he could get Irn Bru in his future home

Note: It appears that Squealer and Co. are really starting to get to the Fibs. Although not mentioned by name, we proudly consider ourselves cyber-bullies. Sorry Ms Teather.

Easter Non-Rising

2007-04-08T16:23:00.000Z

Has Tavish Scott still been celebrating Up Helly Aa and let the drink go to his head?

According to Tavish: “The momentum is with the Liberal Democrats.”

Judging by today's poll they certainly are on a roll - but more of the Easter Egg variety - i.e. going downhill.

On the constituency vote the Fib Dems have 14%. An impressive increase from their 2003 vote when they only managed to get a derisory 15.13%. And it's far more impressive than their depressing 2005 result when they only managed to scrape 22.63%.

Their regional vote also shows the winds are with them. From the lows of 11.78 % in 2003 they are now steamrolling ahead at 10%.

On both votes they are leaving the Tories well behind in third place to their extremely good fourth.

And there's good news for ~~Nigel~~ ~~Neil~~ ~~Noddy~~ Nicola Stephens. He is wanted by a massive 5% of the electorate and leaves the Tory leader trailing well in front of him.

All in all classic FibDem electioneering. Unfortunately for them the press don't appear to fall for this scam.

Tavish's claims of winning the Tour de France were put in doubt when he had to ask the way in the under 12's bike race

Fibs change tactics, they now tell the truth

2007-04-04T16:59:00.000Z

This is a proper laugh and half. Hat tip to Anastasia Beaumont-Bott for this one. Squealer couldn’t believe his own eyes. This gem came from the “Penicuik Gazette”. Jeremy Purvis wants more cops to stop crimes committed by the Libs. With policies like this they might win!

Are we finally hearing the truth from the Lib Dems…

For once, Squealer is silent

Douglas down and out in Motherwell

2007-04-02T10:46:00.000Z

Squealer missed this gem a few days back. If you are going to crash and burn, best to do it FibDem style. It would appear that the LibDem Scottish Parliament candidate for Motherwell and Wishaw, Stuart Douglas, likes to drown his obvious sorrows with a lot of drink. He is running against Mr. McConnell after all and the Fibs got a strong 4th place 4% last time.

Since he is only 19, perhaps he should heed his party’s stance on the booze mad youth of today. He sure stands as a shining example of Scottish FibDem youth.

Fib HQ tried to dissuade Stuart on his choice of campaign poster

Hat Tip to Politicalopinions

UPDATE: It appears Youngster Stewie isn't the only Lib on the sauce.

Nicol shoots down his own policy

2007-04-01T20:34:00.000Z

Well done to Michael Crow for putting Mr Thingey on their council tax policy on STV's leaders debate.

~~Nigel~~ Nicol looked like a rabbit in the headlamps when Mike put the question to him first on Council Tax. Obviously ~~Neil~~ Nicol thought Alex Salmond was going to get it.

But it was a wonderfully stumbling performance as he had to say he supported a Local Income Tax before saying the SNP's sums didn't add up...on a Local Income Tax. As Enterprise Minister ~~Nebulous~~ Nicol knows something about sums not adding up.

"No Mr Thingey. There are five people on this bench."

Rumbled

2007-04-01T20:23:00.000Z

A pattern seems to be emerging here. First we have Tavish and his Holyrood housing allowance. Then we had Nicol Thingey and his mortgage.

Now we have Mike Rumbled, sorry, Rumbles:

A LIBERAL DEMOCRAT MSP has sparked outrage after becoming the first Holyrood politician to use a publicly funded mortgage scheme to help buy three separate properties.

Mike Rumbles, the member for West Aberdeenshire and Kincardine, made gains of nearly £40,000 following the sale of two flats partly paid for by the taxpayer.

His latest acquisition is a £300,000 flat in an exclusive district of the capital, partly financed by a public subsidy.

As FibDems has said before: It's always so coincidental.

The Parliamentary Allowances office were a little suspicious when they visited the latest FibDem Edinburgh flat

Financial Fibbery

2007-04-01T19:58:00.000Z

From reading this article you could be forgiven for thinking that Jo Swinson was saying the Fibs were appalled at MPs getting £10,000 a year in expenses to 'communicate' with their constituents:

Liberal Democrat Jo Swinson said: "It is a huge amount of taxpayers' money that is not warranted to be spent on this."

That's certainly the image this Fib blogger wanted to give:

Here’s the full roll-call of honour of those Lib Dem MPs who did oppose the allowance:

Baker, Norman; Barrett, John; Brooke, Annette; Bruce, rh Malcolm; Carmichael, Mr. Alistair; Clegg, Mr. Nick; Farron, Tim; Goldsworthy, Julia; Harris, Dr. Evan; Heath, Mr. David; Holmes, Paul; Horwood, Martin; Howarth, David; Hughes, Simon; Huhne, Chris; Laws, Mr. David; Leech, Mr. John; Öpik, Lembit; Rennie, Will-lie; Sanders, Mr. Adrian; Stunell, Andrew; Swinson, Jo; Taylor, Matthew; Webb, Steve.

The full list from the division lobby of ayes and noes is available here.

Not a great link as it doesn't tell you the party of each member. However this one does and lists these Fibs as grabbing "a huge amount of taxpayers' money that is not warranted to be spent on this":

Danny Alexander (Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch & Strathspey)

Tom Brake (Carshalton & Wallington)

Colin Breed (South East Cornwall)

Paul Burstow (Sutton & Cheam)

Lorely Burt (Solihull)

Vincent Cable (Twickenham)

Lynne Featherstone (Hornsey & Wood Green)

Don Foster (Bath)

Mike Hancock (Portsmouth South)

Nick Harvey (North Devon)

Susan Kramer (Richmond Park)

Michael Moore (Berwickshire, Roxburgh & Selkirk)

Greg Mulholland (Leeds North West)

Mark Oaten (Winchester)

Alan Reid (Argyll & Bute)

Daniel Rogerson (North Cornwall)

Bob Russell (Colchester)

Stephen Williams (Bristol West)

Jennifer Willott (Cardiff Central)

It will be interesting to see if Jo chides Danny in public and also doesn't take the money she says is "not warranted to be spent on this".

Ming congratulated Jo on another successful hustle on the taxpayers

Nicol ‘who?’ Stephen's Amnesia Returns

2007-03-28T10:50:00.000Z

It appears that Nicol ‘who?’ Stephen, the Deputy First Minister of Scotland has promised that the LibDems would mount a ‘major onslaught on red tape’.

Well Squealer seems to recall that Nicol has had quite a few years in which to do that. After all he was in charge of the Enterprise portfolio. I guess he is a bit forgetful. Or maybe it is just LibDem ‘hypocrisy taken to new heights’. Squealer certainly leans towards the latter. Looks like he's got a lot of work to do before May.

"I promise to do things that I could have done a real long time ago when I was in charge of those sorts of things. Serious. I will. Why are you laughing? Don't you know who I am!?"

The £2.4 million question that won't go away

2007-03-26T18:11:00.000Z

A very interesting post in Iain Dale's Diary which rather undermines the Fibs saying Michael Brown no longer has anything to do with them.

Old Porridge wonders how they'll answer this little one when it comes up in future interviews. Particular Mr Ed Davey who's taken up a peculiar interest in other parties funding arrangements.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Brown Scandal Returns to Haunt LibDems

If the LibDems thought that the Michael Brown scandal had gone away this morning's Times will have given them a jolt. A pensioner is claiming that the £155,000 he gave to Michael Brown to invest for him, actually ended up in LibDem coffers. It has also emerged that the LibDems' second biggest donor, Paul Strasburger, is funding Michael Brown's legal fees. The stories are HERE and HERE. Meanwhile the Electoral Commission investigation into the admissability of Brown's loan awaits the verdict of the City of London Police.

Not, of course, that this has anything to do with the LibDems at all. No, Sirree. Never let it be said. Whiter than white. Yellower than yellow [enough - ed].

The Fibs proposed alternative to the House of Lords did not meet with approval

Lies Taking Their Toll?

2007-03-23T15:00:00.000Z

Iain Smith and Andrew Arbuckle have been in favour of bridge tolls and then against them in a bid to save their political hides.

Tavish Scott, however, has consistently been in favour of bridge tolls.

Imagine, therefore, our surprise to learn that Tavish has been appointed to the position of national campaign manager by the Lib Dems.

One wonders what the position of the Liberals will be on the issue of bridge tolls...

"Some people face that way, some people face the other way, but Liberal Democrats face both ways."*

* - with apologies to Ray Bolger.

Rocket Man Rennie

2007-03-22T13:08:00.000Z

It seems like Willie (Wil-lie) Rennie has secured a victory!

The MoD are going to ban the two kinds of cluster munitions, the RBL 755 aerial delivered cluster munition and the Multi launch Rocket System M26 munition.

You see, Raytheon had a very big hand in making the Multi launch Rocket System. The very same system that fires the cluster munitions and the very same company Willie's PR firm used to work for. I wonder if Rennie will return for another visit to the Raytheon factory that is outside of his constituency anytime soon?

This just keeps getting better. Shame on you Wil-lie. Shame on you indeed.

Willie assured his fello fibs that this Raytheon Rocket Launcher's arsenal was cut by half...and now only used for peace

Did Somebody Mention Pots and Kettles?

2007-03-19T16:30:00.000Z

So, Malcolm Bruce decided to launch a broadside against the SNP for accepting a £500,000 donation from Brian Souter, the Stagecoach magnate.

Lib Dem election campaign chairman Malcolm Bruce said: "The nationalists should be utterly ashamed to take money from a man who put Â£500,000 into his own personal homophobic campaign. What kind of party is the SNP?"

While we don't necessarily agree with Mr Souter's personal or political opinions here at Fib Dem Towers, we cannot help but feel slightly bemused at this line of attack.

After all, Mr Souter has never been sent to prison for committing fraud.

Nor has he ever run one of his companies into the ground, leaving its workforce without pensions.

What kind of party would accept money from people with those sort of backgrounds?

Radiant Lib-Dems Suffer major Fallout

2007-03-15T11:36:00.000Z

Squealer couldn’t wait for the Trident vote last night, and crikey, he wasn’t disappointed. It seems that we here at FibDems are not alone in spotting the absurd, ambiguous and non-sensical Lib Dem position on replacing the nuclear detterent.

The First up was Tony, who given an all too regular soft-ball from Minger responded:

We are set to reduce the number of warheads, but it is absurd to say that we can somehow put off the question of whether we take a decision now on this concept and design phase.
Therefore, we cannot put this decision off; we have to take it now. I recall that a few days ago, the right hon. and learned Gentleman said on this issue,
“I will not sit on the fence.”
I am afraid that “on the fence” is exactly where he is, and as I think that he will find, it is not a very comfortable place to be.

Fence-sitting? Liberals!? NEVER

Opening the debate proper was the Rt. Hon Margaret Beckett. She took no time to assail the Fibs:

…There is therefore no evidence whatever for the notion that if we defer this decision, that will somehow magically produce a different response from other players than we have had hitherto. I simply say to him—I apologise if I am offending anybody in the House in saying it—that there are only two credible positions to take today: you are either in favour of this decision or you are against it. The notion that there is an excuse that allows people to get out of the problem today and return to it later is, frankly, escapology.

Well what is it Fibs? Yes or No or of course MAYBE. Now on the case of the Fib’s “expert advice”:

…The claim is made that those proposals are based on expert analysis, but nothing whatever has been done to explain either whom the experts were or what the analysis was

Fibs without any real evidence? I simply do not believe it. The Tories didn’t want to miss the show either. Dr. Fox got a good salvo off in his closing remarks:

The time scale was the fig leaf used by the Liberal Democrats to disguise their utter confusion and division on the issue. The intellectual spaghetti dished up by the Liberal Democrat spokesman reminded us of the difference between parties that have to confront the realities of government and those that are merely interested observers on the sidelines… I cannot help but feel that the delay that the Liberal Democrats propose is only to cover the fact that they cannot muster the political courage to face up to this most crucial decision. Today they were revealed at their most pathetic.

Well Doc, I couldn’t agree more! A classic fence-sitting, totally ambiguous and politically suicidal position from the Fibs – We love it!

A charge sheet?

2007-03-08T10:37:00.000Z

A few months old but still an example of the type of duplicitous campaigning we can expect in the months ahead as they fail to tell voters the true position:

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Lib Dem's shoddy campaigning style
This is a little look at why every time we have an election I get particuarly angry with the lib dems. This is especially for Cllr Luke who really can't stand them and Tom who made the point when discussing the tax plans that we didn't absolutely have to detest the lib dems.

To start . . . one of the worst leaflets ever
This is taken from Antonia's blog. It was used in a recent by election. To paraphrase I think it is an absolute disgrace, I'll explain why later.

This beats the send Bush and Blair a message leaflets from May. We're all used to the Lib Dems shameless campaigning tactics when they are in opposition; but this takes things to a new level. At the time in Oxford they were in control. Do they really have no achievements to tell people about? Do they really not care about local services. And I'm sorry but the Middle East is not Iraq, this isn't a general election and it certainly isn't an issue to score cheap party political points over. I'm sick of them fighting local elections on wholly irrelevant issues. Incidentally labour won.

Lib Dems say one thing in Chester and another thing in Bromley
This was taken from Iain Dale's blog and the Chester anti lib dem site. It just had to be aired because although I have posted on that by election before, the tactics used by the lib dems were vicious, personal and didn't have the slightest thing to do with policy.

A leaflet put out in Chester contained the following statement:

'Lib Dems do not believe it matters where a candidate lives but how committed they are to the area they wish to represent.'

Well thats not what you were saying in Bromley when you put this leaflet out.

Its just complete hypocrisy from a party who when it comes to campaigning have no principles.

Lib dems lie in Scotland as well . . . .

This leaflet put out in Scotland was taken from ridiculous politics.

It is insinuating that the Lib Dem candidate will get the decision to turn down an application for a motorway junction overturned.

However the junction was actually turned down by the Lib Dem transport minister, Tavish Scot.

Dunfermeline and West Fife all over again. Idiots.

Fibdems would be more than grateful for more recent examples to show what fibs they are telling voters now.

Hat tip to the Crazy World of Politics

There by the Grace of God...

2007-03-06T19:36:00.000Z

...goes Ed Davey.

Has anyone reminded him that the only party with a Major donor in prison is this one?

Old habits died hard for Ed as he desperately wanted people to believe he was winning the cup here

Lies upon lies

2007-03-06T15:08:00.000Z

It would seem that Ming's speech and it's briefing has caused some real heartache in the Fibs as Iain Dale imparts here:

The Minging Briefer Uncovered

This is Mark Littlewood, who is Head of Press for the Liberal Democrats ~~for the time being at least~~ . It was he who briefed out Ming's speech to journalists on Sunday and told them that PR wouldn't be a dealbreaker in a Lib/Lab coalition. Mr Littlewood is not flavour of the month on several LibDem blogs. I, however, salute him.

So we had the usual cascade of Fibs as Ming hinted at a coalition, they briefed that they wanted a coalition and then they denied that they wanted a coaltion but then again maybe do.

It couldn't happen to a nicer party and the others are laughing all the way to the ballot bank. Labour squeezed them in 1997 as they gave these hints and the others will just say a FibDem vote is now a Labour vote.

Ming's claims that he was on the phone were taken with a pinch of salt

It's always so coincidental

2007-03-05T20:23:00.000Z

One of our favourite FibDem Ministers, the nice and caring George Lyon, has got himself into some bother with his driving again.

However, instead of having to pay out for being behind the wheel George has been getting paid for not being behind the wheel:

Minister in car mileage claim 'error'

A HOLYROOD minister has claimed he made a mistake after records of his expenses showed he was charging for mileage on the same day as he was on a taxpayer-funded trip to America.

Deputy finance minister George Lyon submitted expense claims for two car journeys in early April 2005 to the Scottish Parliament and around his constituency.

Yet on the same two days, he was visiting the US as part of the official MSP delegation to the annual Tartan Week celebrations.

Of course George has insisted he made a mistake and the form had been filled in incorrectly.

Now where have we heard that before? Oh mortgages.

Of course it's not as if Edinburgh housing allowances of MSPs would be something other FibDems would be embroiled in? Is it?

Whatever next? Questions about large scale donations by developers to the party with power over planning?

One would think this was a party with major donors in jail wouldn't they?

Could that be why they are so keen on this?

Finding a venue for the FibDem's next conference was far easier than the last time

You Read It Here First

2007-03-05T10:28:00.000Z

Loyal readers may recall this article.

It seems the mainstream media has finally caught up, and the Sunday Herald were keen to point out that not only has Ian Suttie donated a substantial amount to the Lib Dems, he is effectively bankrolling Nicol Stephen's election campaign.

We cannot help but wonder if the fact a property developer is bankrolling the election campaign of the Liberal Democrat leader might have anything at all to do with the Liberals voting against their own policy of introducing a third party right of appeal in planning cases.

So, two Lib Dem constituency associations in Aberdeen being bankrolled by property developers, remind us who it is that runs the city council in Aberdeen again...

Another reason to warn the voters

2007-03-03T23:02:00.000Z

Not to believe a single word the FibDems tell them. For example this:

Jane Kennedy (Liverpool, Wavertree) (Lab): I am grateful to the hon. Gentleman for giving way, because I know that many Members want to speak, but I invite him to consider the fact that we, as political parties, have a responsibility to ensure that voters are not misled. I invite him to consider what he would do if he discovered that after the electoral returning office had secured the signatures of postal voters as required, in the proper way, a prospective candidate for the local elections wrote to all postal voters, informing them that all current postal votes had been cancelled and that they should apply to him if they did not get a further application to register. If I told him that it was a Liberal Democrat prospective candidate for council, would he be surprised by the double standards that the Liberal Democrats apply?

Hon. Members: No.

Mr. Heald: The right hon. Lady has obviously struck a chord in the House. I noticed many hon. Members saying that they would not be at all surprised. Perhaps I would not be either. If I am really fair about this for a moment— [Interruption.] I think I should. The point that we are making is that if there are loopholes in the system and glaring omissions in security, there will always be people who are so desperate to be elected to whatever post that they will defraud the system. That is why we need the protections that we are talking about.

And this:

Jane Kennedy: We have discovered in Liverpool a quite deliberate attempt by a Liberal Democrat councillor, Councillor Graham Hulme, who held his ward last year by only 13 votes, to mislead postal voters into believing that their postal vote had been cancelled and that the best way to get it back was to contact him personally. It is deeply dishonourable, if not fraudulent, for a politician to behave in such a way, and those involved should hang their heads in shame.

Bridget Prentice: I agree with my right hon. Friend. I do not wish to be partisan during this debate because I believe absolutely and profoundly that everyone should be encouraged to vote, regardless of the party for which they are going to vote. However, the description that she has given the House suggests to me that such an activity is outwith the guidance to which the Electoral Commission, the police and the main political parties have agreed. I suggest that she might wish to direct the Electoral Commission and the returning officer to that candidate so that the matter can be dealt with appropriately.

And special mention has to go to Simon Hughes for this brazen effort:

Simon Hughes (North Southwark and Bermondsey) (LD): I am grateful to the hon. Gentleman. He has pursued this matter assiduously and has rightly said that it is foolish to make party political points— [ Interruption. ] No: Labour, Conservative, Liberal Democrat, Democratic Unionist and British National party members have been convicted of electoral fraud in this decade.

Oh really?

"I really thought it was still the 1990's. Honest."

Why Ming has gone mad

2007-03-03T22:42:00.000Z

No. It's nothing to do with his recent caped crusader impression making him angry. It was more likely headlines like:

Blow for Sir Ming as voters deem Kennedy better leader

Most voters want Kennedy as leader of the LibDems

Kennedy trumps Sir Menzies in Lib-Dem poll

Voters want Kennedy back - poll

Ming was so angry he decided to poke a pigeon in it's backside

Fight! Fight! Fight!

2007-03-03T21:54:00.000Z

FibDems did think it very odd that Sir Ming was airbrushed out off Scottish FibDem central a few months back.

However word reaches old Porridge that things may not be as happy on the good ship FibDem between Admiral Campbell and Commodre Thingey.

Insiders tell Porridge that there has been a big fall out between the two in how the Scottish campaign should be run and who should be heading up the campaign. That who being a one Unable Seawoman Josephine Swinson.

Apparently Ming is determined to promote her as much as possible and thinks she has great potential. Nicol What's-his-name isn't too happy about this but it seems she is getting her way (even if it is unintentionally amusing).

For once Nicol may have a point - but then we do view him as devious and incompetent rather than downright dim. It also highlights how the grumblers in the Fibs may have a point about Ming's faculties.

This infighting and may also explain why Porridge has detected a downturn in FibDem activity over the past few months and the subdued audiences at their recent conference.

FibDem Campaign meetings were getting rather animated whenever the subject of Jo's lipstick came up

Spot the Will-lie

2007-03-03T21:07:00.000Z

Yes it's that man again. He of no shame. He's put out his latest Parliamentary Report (via the taxpayer apparently) and we've got a copy.

So we thought we'd hold a competition.

Identify a howling Will-lie lie in the this copy and you get point. There will be double bonus points points for spotting any we didn't notice and a whopping 10 points if you can identify something which breaks the Parliamentary rules on this freebie publication that we pay for.

Prize is knowing that you have a conscience about misleading the voters to get a seat in Parliament. Post your answers in the comments section. Funniest ones get a free pass over the Forth Bridge.

So FibDem viewers - Come On Down!

Ming gone MAD

2007-03-02T14:22:00.000Z

I mean, he is going to get mad. ‘Angry’ to be precise. Squealer is terrified. Not for his own safety but for Ming’s, he better do it slowly for his health’s sake.

Aside from this being simply hilarious, it, as always, is tinged with fibbery. Ming claims that, "People are right to be angry about the level of crime in their community".

Well besides being able to actually do something about that in Scotland for the last 8 years, we all know that the fibs are tough on crime, just take a look at their principled stances here. Of course when it comes to certain types of crime, they want to cut a low-profile.

Ming in 'Pre-Angry' mode

The case of the Lib Dem council administration, the property developer and the £7,500 donation

2007-02-28T13:01:00.000Z

Word reaches us from the North East that a property developer has donated £7,500 to the Lib Dems in Aberdeen Central.

Interesting when one considers that the Lib Dems are the administration on the council in Aberdeen.

Of course, we couldn't possibly allege that any impropriety is afoot when a property developer makes a large donation to the party which happens to be in charge of planning and other areas relevant to such fields as, um, property development...

Our readership grows...

2007-02-27T17:31:00.000Z

T’would appear our readership grows amongst the ranks of Hon. and Rt. Hon. Members of Parliament.

What else would explain this two-day, triple whammy?

First to have a go was Angus Robertson who aptly noted the Liberals classic kinda, sorta, maybe for or against nuclear weapons stance.

Angus Robertson: On the question of commitments, perhaps we could have some clarity from the Liberal Democrats. At the weekend, we had a demonstration in Scotland against the new generation of Trident weapons. The head of the Church of Scotland said that they were “morally and theologically wrong”. Cardinal Keith O’Brien said that they were “immoral”. A poll also revealed that 81 per cent. of Liberal Democrats would rather have the cost of Trident spent elsewhere. Is that the position of the Liberal Democrat party or will it continue to ride roughshod over the wishes of its voters and majority opinion in Scotland?
Nick Harvey: The opinion of the Liberal Democrats remains that Britain’s minimum nuclear deterrent should be sustained for the foreseeable future. We hope very much that in the future circumstances will be created in which it can safely be decommissioned, but those circumstances do not exist at the moment. That is the policy that we will continue to pursue. We do not believe that the decision to renew the submarine fleet is necessary at the moment, but we remain committed to the principle of the minimum nuclear deterrent.

Second was the first of two bombasts in Scottish Questions yesterday. Mark Lazarowicz pitched up a beauty softball to his own team about Nicol ‘Who?’ Stephen’s big night out at the BAFTAs

Mark Lazarowicz: My hon. Friend will be aware of aviation’s growing contribution to greenhouse gas emissions in the UK and elsewhere. In Scotland, however, the Liberal Democrat Minister for Transport, supported by other parties, is busily giving big subsidies to airlines to encourage even more flights and cheaper air travel. Will my hon. Friend discuss with the Executive how consistent that policy is with commitments by the UK Government and, indeed, by the Scottish Executive to reduce greenhouse gas emissions? .
David Cairns: My hon. Friend raises an extremely important issue. Aviation does contribute to carbon emissions and global warming. That is why we have long argued that it should be within the EU emissions trading scheme. It is important for politicians to show leadership and consistency. Each of us who is a Scottish Member accepts that we fly more often than the average citizen and more often than is altogether good for the planet, but it is important that we are consistent. It ill becomes politicians to declare one day that they will not take any non-essential flights, and the next day to catch a flight down from Aberdeen to London to go to the BAFTAs. Perhaps that is just jealousy because I have never been invited to the BAFTAs, but the Deputy First Minister should show a little more personal consistency.

Third was ‘Oh No Jo!’ who, suddenly confused, thought she was on the other side of the House and attacked her own party. Just what is your (my, our, etc) stance on Independence and a referendum?

Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): Given that when they are asked, the favoured option of the Scottish people is neither independence nor the status quo, but for more powers to be given to the Scottish Parliament, why is the Secretary of State so blinkered as to maintain that the current settlement is the end of the road?

Mr. Alexander: Of course, we take a strong interest in the views of the Scottish people, but it is important to recognise the importance of consistency in political debate. The hon. Lady wrote in the last issue of The House Magazine that she was in favour of a further constitutional convention, but her erstwhile leader, the right hon. Member for Ross, Skye and Lochaber (Mr. Kennedy), who is two places along from her on the Front Bench, has said:

“There is always a temptation in human nature, where new institutions are concerned, to be drawn towards pulling up the roots just to see how the plant is growing.”

Once the Liberal Democrats decide their own policy, they can start giving advice to the Government.

Badda Bing Badda Boom. These Scottish Questions just keep getting better. But in all fairness to Jo, according to some, perhaps Charlie was in no condition to give her a briefing.

The Clown's smiles turned to frowns when they realised they were being upstaged inside the building

Fibbing Time

2007-02-23T22:32:00.000Z

Our old favourite Mr, ehm, what's-his-name, erm, thingey. You know? The guy who WILL be First Minister. Well he was on Question Time last night ... or should that be Fibbing Time.
. .
Question 1. Iraq

FibDems were against an "illegal" war in Iraq. Oh really?.

Question 2. Congestion Charging

According to Nicol his party's support does not mean that it will increase the costs of driving.

Eh?! This is FibDemmery at it's pinnacle.
.
Since congestion charging is meant to make people consider alternatives to driving, as it would be more expensive such, a policy would be extremely contradictory.
.
Unless of course Nicol is just fibbing about the cost, or displaying that fine Fiberal tradition of promoting expensive policies that amount to nothing..

Question 3. Independence
.
Apparently, according to Nicol, he doesn't support an independence referendum and it's quite consistent because they didn't support one on devolution. Well that's reassuring until you consider they were so principled on the matter that you might see a certain Jim Wallace skulking at the right of this photo in an, er, referendum campaign:

But rest assured. The Fiberal Unionists won't agree to the Nats demand of a referendum. So much so that when asked if it meant any coalition with them was out the question proceeded to say he had not said that.
.
So as clear as mud from the Fib Nats then.
.

Question 4. Crime
.
Chance for Nicol to appeal to Yoof. We refer our honourable audience to our previous post.
.
.
Question 5. Statue of Maggie
.
He hated her but now doesn't. An appeal to votes all round methinks. So no change there.

Well I'm sure Margaret would have had a message for the Fiberal benches on that one.

Revealed: Thatcher's True Politics

2007-02-22T14:56:00.000Z

Squealer spends almost all of his time in his sty, rooting around for truffles of Fib Dem gold. Therefore he has little knowledge of the outside world. Thankfully a co-Fib-hater pointed out a curious thing.

The Iron Lady’s statue was unveiled yesterday in the Members Lobby amidst much hype. Just what is she pointing at from the dispatch box? For those of you with little knowledge of the geography of the Chamber, she points her accusatory finger right at the Lib Dems. To her right, up a touch, to the Fibs front bench.

We salute you Maggie! And we are heartened that this gesture of distain for the Fibs is immortalized for all time.

The Rt. Hon. Margaret Thatcher defied the Liberals to speak a word of truth

Happy Birthday to Us...

2007-02-22T10:06:00.000Z

So, FibDems has today turned one year old, and we have to say it has turned out to be a very successful first year of business.

We do, however, note that our popularity appears not to have gone unnoticed:

http://www.123-reg.co.uk/ has an interesting entry when one searches for domain names "fibdems.org.uk"

Domain name:fibdems.org.uk

Registrant:The Fibbing Democratic Party

Registrant type:UK

EntityRegistrant's address:3 Cowley Street London SW1P 3NBUnited Kingdom

Registrant's agent:Pipex Communications UK Ltd t/a 123-Reg.co.uk [Tag = 123-REG]URL: http://www.123-reg.co.uk
We cannot help but raise our eyebrows at the registered address, given the similarity it bears to the address of LibDem HQ - 4 Cowley Street, London...
Then we have
Domain name:fibdem.org.uk
Registrant:Dan Norris
Registrant type:UK
IndividualRegistrant's address:The registrant is a non-trading
individual who has opted to have theiraddress omitted from the WHOIS service.Registrant's agent:Schlund + Partner AG [Tag = SCHLUND]URL: http://registrar.schlund.infoRelevant dates:
Dan Norris, of course, is a Labour MP. We always welcome people willing to contribute to the anti-Lib Dem cause, and we look forward to working with Dan in future once he gets his site up and running.
We've had a good first year, but there's still work to be done.
Keep your stories of Lib Dem duplicity rolling in, at the end of the day we need our readers to keep us informed of the sorts of shenanigans the Fibbers are getting up to in your area.
Details of Lib Dem leaflets are always welcomed, feel free to scan onto your own blog and alert us, we'll be happy to put up shining examples of hypocrisy for all to see.

Down on the Farm

2007-02-21T15:27:00.000Z

Andrew Arbuckle is a farmer. He used to write a farming column in the Courier.

He got dumped to number two on the regional list for Mid Scotland and Fife behind relative novice, but well known fantasist, Alex Cole-Hamilton.

He also got into a spot of bother over the bridge tolls issue not so long ago.

That apart he has been fairly unimportant and uninteresting, as anyone who has had to sit through one of his interminably boring speeches in parliament will testify.

So, why the sudden interest?

Well, it seems old Andrew has a bit of a problem with the way in which Scotland's farming community is being smothered in red tape. By his own party.

For while Andrew is keen to play the friendly farmer looking out for his own, the simple fact is that it is his party which has held the agriculture brief since 1999, with Ross Finnie having been the Minister in charge, and it is his party which has done absolutely nothing to alter the red tape situation since devolution, indeed it has been responsible for most of the red tape.

Of course, Andrew doesn't have any problem voting against his own Ministers on other issues. The most recent vote on bridge tolls, for example.

The Lib Dem hierarchy weren't overly keen on Andrew's suggested election campaign slogan: We're sh*t and we know we are.

Desparately seeking 'Jon'

2007-02-18T17:50:00.000Z

We recieved a rather interesting comment which we couldn't publish but would be rather interested to find out who 'Jon' is.

Much appreciated and we would be interested in further comment.

What the Fibs really think of the Yoof Vote

2007-02-18T17:27:00.000Z

Another whopper in Nicol's speech:

"Labour and the SNP continue the same mistake – constantly, consistently, conspicuously negative about young people."

I wonder how that squares with the remarks by his colleague Don Foster:

He suggested the government were more concerned with "youth popularity" than tackling binge drinking.

And let's not forget this little item on their own website:

How Fibs deal with Xenophobes

2007-02-18T17:07:00.000Z

The squirming of the Fibs' "we aren't negative like all the other big, bad parties" line exploding in their smugs has pleased Porridge even if it is the Nats at the receiving end.

However it did remind Porridge to look out how they act sonsidering it has little bearing on what they say. Hey presto! Ridiculous Politics* comes up with this example of Fib double dealing:

At a full meeting of Burnley Council on December 13th 2006 a position on a local regeneration board came up for renewal. When it came to the vote, there was a choice of only two candidates - a BNP Councillor or a Labour Councillor. The casting vote rested with the Lib Dem controlling group and they backed...the BNP councillor!
Indeed in a letter to the local paper the Lib Dem Councillor declared that in his view he backed the 'better candidate'.

I wonder if Mr Jamie Stone will comment on his fellow Fibs remarks?

Another 'better candidate'?

Xenophobes v's Charlatans

2007-02-18T16:25:00.000Z

After a near perfect siesta during Ming's speech Porridge wasn't let down by Nicol Stephen either. Okay there is one tiny, little item that made him stir.

In true sanctimonious FibDem style he aimed to give the impression that everyone else bar those nice FibDems were being negative:

"And this is shaping up to be the most bitter, negative personal campaign we have ever witnessed in Scotland. [Oddly Porrdige seems to recall this being said by the Fibs at every election]
Words like “charlatans”, “desperate”, “ranting”, “raving”, “deceit”, “pathetic” and the promises of a “highly personal attack” do not do much to help people decide, do they?
People in Scotland have had enough of negativity."

However it seems this usual hypocrisy has been rather exposed by a one Jamie Stone whose remark about the Nats being "xenophobic" has sparked this, and this, and this, and this. Porridge still remembers the “highly personal attacks” on "Two Jobs Bob" in Bromley.

Apparently Nicol has still not reacted which is a tad strange considering his remarks above. Whilst old Porridge couldn't cfare for the Nats' feelings on the matter he is rather intrigued at why the word "charlatan" gets a mention from Nicol but the word "xenophobic" doesn't merit a comment?

Could it be somethng to do with the meaning of "charlatan"?:

A person who makes elaborate, fraudulent, and often voluble claims to skill or knowledge; a quack or fraud

Oh! You mean a Liberal Democrat.

Nicol's claim that he was a £431 million building were rather dubious

Flawed Fibbing

2007-02-18T15:58:00.000Z

Well it was a barn stormer of a speech that had them cheering from the rafters...ooh I've come over all Liberal Democrat. Must have been that state of doziness when waking up after Ming's speech.

Anyway one item that did make Old Porridge stir awake was this remark:

"The war in Iraq is the prime example. Our opposition to that war has always been clear and firm. It was an illegal war based on a flawed prospectus."

Will this be the same Ming Campbell who believed that "flawed prospectus" on September 24, 2004:

"We can all agree...that Saddam Hussein...most certainly has chemical and biological weapons and is working towards a nuclear capability. The dossier contains confirmation of information that we either knew or most certainly should have been willing to assume."
As for their "clear and firm" opposition the Green Party have pointed out the LibDem's opposition to the Iraq war did not manifest itself until the last minute, when the Stop The War demonstrations were gathering support and they noticed a few votes to be won in being anti-war.

The spin they appear to have put on it is that Blair should go for this "flawed prospectus". Since Ming believed it then shouldn't this apply to him also? Of course not. When did the Fibs let principle get in the way of deluding the press corp and, more importantly to them, the voters.

Ming was ecstatic at getting away with five fibs in his speech

And The Award For Blatant Hypocrisy Goes To...

2007-02-13T14:17:00.000Z

...Nicol Stephen.

Nicol, you see, decided to leap on the carbon footprint reduction bandwagon recently, by declaring:

"I am committed to ending the use of flights from Edinburgh or Glasgow to London for executive business in all but the most exceptional circumstances,"

Less than a week later, Nicol flew to London to attend the BAFTA awards ceremony.

An interesting definition of "exceptional circumstances."

"Mike, it seems you and I share similar credentials on environmental issues"

He's At It Again!!!

2007-02-13T10:36:00.000Z

As if it wasn't bad enough making a fool of himself in the national media with talk of becoming Scotland's largest party after May, (a difficult thing to do with only 14% of the vote) Nicol Stephen has allowed his delusions of grandeur to continue.

It seems that he is now going to demand to be made First Minister as a part of any post-election coalition deal.

Obviously Nicol seems to have forgotten that he has a particular problem with the voters of Scotland.

None of them know who he is!

Nicol prepared to give his latest interview on why he should become First Minister

This is getting embarrassing

2007-02-12T16:44:00.000Z

Oh no Jo v4!

She strikes again! After a short hiatus Squealer started to trawl through Hansard once more only to find that Oatens beat me to it. Save for this gem.

If the last embarrassment during DWP questions wasn’t punishment enough, Ms. Swinson with arms waving in head-girl-esque debating movements delivered this bombast:

Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): The Leader of the House mentioned the response that he gave two weeks ago to the request by my hon. Friend the Member for Somerton and Frome (Mr. Heath) for a debate on the Act of Union. He told us just now that he would think about it, but what he said then was:

“That is a good idea. I shall consult my right hon. Friend the Secretary of State for Scotland and I hope to make an announcement in due course.”—[ Official Report, 25 January 2007; Vol. 455, c. 1558.]

Does what he said just now mean that he consulted his right hon. Friend, who thought that it was a bad idea to have a debate on this important issue, or can we expect such a debate in the near future?

Mr. Straw: I do not think that there is much difference between what I said previously and what I said just now. I am thinking about it.

Queue the tumbleweed, then the bursts of uncontrollable laughter from all sides of the House

Criminally Incompetent

2007-02-10T21:15:00.000Z

Enthused by Jack Straw's endorsement Old Porridge decided to take a look at the debate David Anderson mentioned:

Mr. David Anderson (Blaydon) (Lab): May we have a full debate in Government time about the Government’s record on crime, so that we can again expose, in the public interest, the ludicrous position of the Liberal Democrats, which was so clearly exposed last night?

And one has to say that it is a litany of fun at the expense of the Fibs.

Round 1:

Mr. Nick Clegg (Sheffield, Hallam) (LD): Reoffending rates are at an unprecedented high level: 66 per cent. of all offenders who go to prison reoffend within two years, and 92 per cent. of all male offenders who serve short-term prison sentences of three months or less reoffend.

Mr. Denis MacShane (Rotherham) (Lab): I am listening to the hon. Gentleman’s Jeremiahs about increasing crime, but if that is the case, why did the Sheffield and Rotherham Star, which covers his constituency and mine, state in its headline of last Monday that crime in South Yorkshire has fallen?

Clear upper hook there.

Round 2:

Helen Jones (Warrington, North) (Lab): I am very grateful to the hon. Gentleman for giving way. If he is so concerned about antisocial behaviour, can he explain how his party’s policy of allowing alcohol to be sold to 16-year-olds will improve the situation? People in my constituency would like to know how that would assist them.

Mr. Nick Clegg (Sheffield, Hallam) (LD): I will ignore that, if I may. [Interruption.] Does the hon. Lady seriously think that an arcane debate about what the precise drinking age limit should be would provide the simple catch-all solution to antisocial behaviour?

So he goes from ignoring the punch to taking it full on the face. Maybe he shouldn't have left his guard down to his own Don Foster here:

Culture spokesman Don Foster said the problem of binge drinking must be controlled before any liberalisation of licensing laws or risk escalating the problem of disorder.

Oh dear. Another example of playing both sides.

Round 3:

Stewart Hosie (Dundee, East) (SNP): The hon. Gentleman mentioned effective policies that work and he also mentioned gun crime. Given that 58 per cent. of all firearms offences in Scotland involve air weapons, why did his colleagues on the Committee considering the Violent Crime Reduction Act 2006 refuse to support measures for a purchaser licensing scheme and instead back the weaker vendor licensing scheme?

Mr. Nick Clegg (Sheffield, Hallam) (LD): I am sure that the hon. Gentleman, of all hon. Members, would not wish me to short circuit an issue that is clearly a devolved matter—

Stewart Hosie: No, it is not. It is reserved. That is why I mentioned it.

Mr. Clegg: In that case, I shall get back to the hon. Gentleman when I have researched the matter a little more.

Whoops!

Round 4:

Anne Snelgrove (South Swindon) (Lab): Does the hon. Gentleman agree with the hon. Member for Winchester (Mr. Oaten) that prison is a complete and utter waste of time? Can he guarantee that that will be in the next Liberal Democrat manifesto?

Mr. Nick Clegg (Sheffield, Hallam) (LD): No, I do not agree and it will not be in the next manifesto.

But no guarantee? Why so coy Nick?

Round 5:

Ms Sally Keeble (Northampton, North) (Lab): Will the hon. Gentleman say which offenders he would not send to prison? Does he support the probation service and probation hostels? If he thinks that people should be held in psychiatric hospitals instead of prisons, will he support the Mental Health Bill? That Bill will make it possible to hold people in such hospitals more easily.

Mr. Nick Clegg (Sheffield, Hallam) (LD): That is just a diversion.

No Nick. That's using a diversion by claiming a diversion.

Round 6:

Julia Goldsworthy (Falmouth and Camborne) (LD): Does the Minister agree with the statistic that gun crime has doubled under the Government, while seizures of illegal firearms have halved? Is his Department undertaking any links with Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs to try to ensure that the number of seizures increases rather decreases, given the fact that gun crime is rising so rapidly?

The Minister for Policing, Security and Community Safety (Mr. Tony McNulty): The hon. Lady will know that, last year, gun crime was down some 14 per cent.

It's like taking candy from Jo Swinson.

And Round 7:

Willie Rennie (Dunfermline and West Fife) (LD): I am greatly concerned about the Government’s never-ending attack on, and demonising of, young people.

Will-lie really does like to play up the role of the duplicitous Fib. I refer him to the previous remarks by his colleague Don Foster:

He suggested the government were more concerned with "youth popularity" than tackling binge drinking.

Of course all this could have been foreseen if one checks out the Channel 4 News Fact Check and how they basically, well, lie to create a climate of fear about crime.

Nick Clegg's researcher emails over data from Newcastle Council itself, which shows that violent crime in the city fell by 6.4 per cent between 2004-06 but the East End of Newcastle - a notorious crime hot spot - showed a 12 per cent drop.

But still no sign of the 54 per cent rise that Clegg referred to...

..."We got it wrong. It must have been a slip of the pen," says a Liberal Democrat researcher.

The second Liberal Democrat researcher blames the education policy of Labour for the maths mistake...

Of course this is all part of the Fibs attempts to look like they are tough on crime. However wouldn't that be a bit more credible if they were still not holding on to a certain £2.4 million?

"Could you accompany me to the station sir? We have to discuss a Mr M Brown and..."

Will-lie Boxed in

2007-02-10T18:05:00.000Z

Will-lie just can't help himself. After the fraudulent and bogus circumstances of his election which saw him take a low profile and the blasting he got for his hypocrisy and lack of commitment on cluster bombs, we have his latest initiative to con the good people of Fife - abolishing tolls on the Forth Road Bridge.

Obviously Will-lie is desperate to protect his ill gotten seat by getting a FibDem MSP elected in the area. However this little local plan has now gone a bit awry leaving Will-lie's future as an MP after the next election a little forlorn.

In true FibDem hypocrisy the party most to blame for the continuation of tolls on the Forth Road Bridge is, erm, the FibDems since the Scottish Transport Minister is, aherm, a FibDem - aka the hapless Tavish Scott.

It all came to head this week when a vote on abolishing tolls on the Forth Road Bridge saw Mr Scott lead the opposition and say it would be bad for the environment if they were scrapped.

However Tavish seems to have missed how this statement has screwed up not only his party's chances of taking Dunfermline West from Labour but effectively ended Will-lie's future as an MP.

Perhaps his high office has gone to his head and he is forgetting to consult local colleagues as his fellow Labour Ministers set him up to make a environmentalist statement in order to get six Green votes on board so local Labour MSPs can be freed up to vote against tolls and campaign against them by blaming a LibDem Transport Minister for keeping them? Didn't he ask himself why the seventh Green MSP didn't vote?

Nor did he seem to think it was strange that Labour was quite relaxed about the resignation of Dunfermline West MSP Scott Barrie as Labour Whip. Free from the constraints of party discipline he can now campaign locally against the tolls - tolls being kept by a LibDem Transport Minister.

Oh dear. It seems Will-lie and the Dunfermline LibDems are now boxed in by a combination of skilful manoeuvring by Labour and the fact that no other major party can be attacked for wanting to keep tolls. Along with the Nats and the Conservatives, Labour's Scott Barrie can now join in the attack-fest on the lack of trust and hypocrisy of the LibDems whose Transport Minister wants to keep tolls.

No wonder Will-lie was squirming on Politics Scotland as Isobel Fraser skewered him into saying he had "faith" in Tavish after exposing the lack of "credibility" he now has on the issue of tolls.

Poetic justice indeed. Elected on the issue of tolls and exposed and rejected on the issue of tolls.

Clearly flustered Will-lie tried to insist he was referring to the Rail Bridge when campaigning against tolls

FibDems - As recommended by the Rt Hon Jack Straw MP

2007-02-09T23:47:00.000Z

Hat tip to our good mate Jack:

Mr. David Anderson (Blaydon) (Lab): May we have a full debate in Government time about the Government’s record on crime, so that we can again expose, in the public interest, the ludicrous position of the Liberal Democrats, which was so clearly exposed last night?

The Leader of the House of Commons (Mr. Jack Straw): I would be delighted to have a rerun of last night’s debate.

Mr. Heath: So would we.

Mr. Straw: The hon. Gentleman was ever a masochist. I recommend to hon. Members of all parties the excellent website, FibDem. It is brilliant and goes through all the promises that the Liberal Democrats have made about the fight against crime, and all their actions inside and outside the House to undermine and sabotage that fight.

Unknown in her own kingdom: Nora 'Who?' Radcliffe

2007-02-06T12:43:00.000Z

It looks like Numpty Nora Radcliffe has taken some tips from Nicol ‘Who?’ Stephen. According to a little piece in the Scottish edition of the Sunday Times a poll showed that only 11% of people in her constituency of Gordon could identify her from a series of photographs. So not only do your constituents have no idea who you are, they certainly don’t know that you are running again.

It looks like Nora may have to do more than campaigning against boiling lobsters alive to increase her media presence.

Perhaps I should have read the White Paper...

2007-02-06T11:10:00.000Z

Oh no Jo v3!

It keeps getting worse. Squealer once again saw Ms. Swinson charge into the breach only to be repelled by the most feared Ministerial one-liner "Yes, and we have said that in the White Paper".

Whoopsies! Yesterday during DWP questions Swinson delivered this gem:

Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): Does the Secretary of State agree that one of the reasons for the high levels of outstanding CSA debt is the ridiculously long repayment terms that are given? A constituent of mine is owed £9,000 and she has been told that her ex-husband can repay it over 39 years. Will the CSA replacement body get tough on the maintenance cheats and enforce repayments over much shorter time scales, to make sure that the money gets to the children while they are still children?

Mr. Hutton: Yes, and we have said that in the White Paper.

Another classic example of an attempt to make a cheap political point only to have it spectacularly backfire. Like a cluster-bomb. Of course she has a history of hilarity in the chamber...here, here, here...well you get the picture.

Squealer will continue to enthusiastically sift through Hansard to find more knee-slappers.

The Chamber buzzed with excitement: Swinson was about to deliver another screamer

Jailhouse Rock

2007-02-02T13:50:00.000Z

I am sure our readers will remember Mr Michael Brown, the donor who gave the Libs £2.4 million only to get done in for perjury. We reported it here, here, here, here, and here. Seems Mr. Brown ain’t none to happy about the way he is being treated in prison. He wrote to his ol'pals Ming and Chucky begging them to pull a few strings. He said:

"You may previously recall that I made a substantial donation to the Liberal Democrats. Unlike donors to other political parties, I have never sought any reward, honour or return for my financial support, nor would I, and I feel very saddened at the resulting negative interest and perception of my involvement.However, I am pleading with you to help me, as I believe that I am being treated very unfairly in prison."

Now we know the Fibs love a wheeze about prisons but it seems in this case neither Charles Kennedy or Ming the Mundane wanted to lend a helping hand. Seems like they forgot about your 'substantial donation' old chum!

Given their track record on fighting for decent treatment of prisoners who aren’t even in their constituency, let alone their country, it all seems a little hypocritical to me. After all, he is their good mate.

I’m a Liberal Democrat Donor, GET ME OUT OF HERE

The Lesser Spotted LibDem MSP

2007-02-01T18:58:00.000Z

While watching Newsnight Scotland last night with Mrs Inquisitor over some cocoa and custard creams it struck that, while both Labour and the SNP put up MSPs to debate the upcoming Scottish election, representing the Liberal Democrats was Danny Alexander. An MP. Who sits at Westminster.

This seems to be something of a trend, as the Liberals have also been putting up Jo Swinson MP to debate the upcoming elections.

As Labour and the Nats traded insults over their campaigns being "run from London" we can't help but notice that the Liberal MSPs, in their usual sleekit fashion, have crept under the radar.

Why are Nicol and Tavish not going on television to promote themselves?

Is it because they are afraid to appear in case they are asked difficult questions about portfolios in the Executive which they are DIRECTLY responsible for? And therefore couldn't pretend it was all Labour's fault?

Or is it because the Libs realise just how badly Nicol comes across anytime he opens his mouth?

Tavish's attempts at avoiding the election himself didn't quite work

-------------------------------------------------------

As an afterthought it was quite enjoyable to see Danny's sanctimonious claim of indulging in yah-boo politics shot down in flames by John Milne.

On being asked about the Watergate theme of Prime Minister's Questions he sniffily had a go at Salmond for indulging in the politics that puts voters off. Mr Milne kindly reminded him that the Watergate theme had been first raised by a one Ed Davey - Ming Campbell's chief of staff.

You can enjoy Danny's humiliation at the hands of Milne et al here.

Leith Fibber in Green Bonanza

2007-01-31T11:49:00.000Z

Not only has Mr Crockart got problems with his calendar, but his green credentials appear to have been dealt a rather savage blow.

Mr Crockart and his fellow Libs have put out a newspaper calling for a "greener Leith".

Only problem is the paper was printed in Exeter, some 450 miles away from Leith.

Think of the carbon emissions it must have cost to transport it to Leith?

We here at Fib Dems would be delighted to hear from anyone else out there who has discovered that their "Local" Lib Dem paper doesn't quite do exactly what it says on the tin.

Vote for the Fibs on May the 5th

2007-01-31T10:43:00.000Z

Mike Crockart, fiberal democrat candidate for Edinburgh North and Leith has encouraged people to vote for the Liberal Democrats on May the fifth according to a report in today's Daily Record. In a campaign newsletter it says, “They (Liberals) continue to be the best way of beating Labour come polling day on May 5”.

Well Mike, we here at Fibdems couldn’t agree more. All Liberal Democrat voters – be sure to get out to the polls on the May the 5th! Everyone else, please vote on polling day, May the 3rd.

Squealer will be sure to get his hands on this little gem of idiocy in due course.

"Hey, where is everybody?"

Another Triumph at Scottish Questions

2007-01-25T11:35:00.000Z

Squealer prophesized not so long ago that he would not have to wait very long for Jo Swinson to stick her foot in it again.

Swinson pitched up this softball congratulating the Government on their policy of letting 18 year old's to stand for elections.

Jo Swinson ( East Dunbartonshire) (LD): There is concern in all parties about low turnout among young people in elections. Next May, for the first time in Scotland, 18-year-old candidates, including the Liberal Democrat challenger in the First Minister's constituency, will stand for election. I hope that the Minister and the First Minister welcome the implementation of that new law. When will the Government take the next step and encourage more young people to play an active part in the political process by introducing voting at 16?

David Cairns: First, the hon. Lady could have said that it is a reform introduced by the Government that allows 18-year-olds to stand as candidates. That provision did not fall out of a clear blue sky. It underlines our commitment to engaging with young people and ensuring that they play a full part.

Maybe Fib Dems should be keeping count of the number of times Jo fumbles the ball at Scottish Questions but we'd lose count because of the outbreaks of laughter.

I name this ship the HMS Hopeless. May God bless her and all who sail on her.

Willie forgets to drop into arms debate

2007-01-25T11:07:00.000Z

After trawling through the wonderfully exciting debates that occur in Westminster Hall, Squealer was struck by a very notable absence. A one Wil-lie Rennie didn’t make it to a debate on Arms Exports from the UK.

Hmm…is this the man who is campaigning so vigorously against cluster bombs? You think he would have dropped in, guided or not.

But then again he has been pictured at a Raytheon weapons factory, a company that he also happened to do PR for. We reported it here, here and here. What a mess Wil-lie. What a mess indeed.

While Willie scolded the man for selling cluster bombs, he was assured that other weapons systems were hot sellers abroad.

Update: Hat tip to Chris Paul for pointing out that the factory isn't even in Wil-lies constituency. The truth only makes the saga better. Rennie had to make that extra-special effort to be a hypocrite.

FibNat Update

2007-01-21T10:57:00.000Z

Squealer was a wee bit confused this morning when he opened up Scotland on Sunday, to find that Ravishing Tavish Scott who ruled out a deal with a ‘sepratist party’. He said, ‘We are not going to bring the machinery of the Scottish government to a halt for an independence referendum’.

Well, Mr. Scott I would suggest you consult Earl of Mar and Kellie on that one. As we reported so long ago, it would appear that there is a bit of confusion over the issue. It appears the Earl is indeed in favour of a referendum. After all, it is on your own party’s official website.

Squealer can only wonder what the fibs say on the doorstep.

Tavish was assured that this machine would destroy all records of his party's view on a referendum

Swinson takes poll to heart

2007-01-19T11:20:00.000Z

We here at FibDems endeavoured to create a highly scientific poll (much the same as the ones used by Liberals) to find out who was the most ridiculous Scottish Liberal Democrat. The results so far are hardly surprising. Jo Swinson currently polls at 33% followed by Wil-lie Rennie at 19% and Nicol ‘who?’ Stephen at 14%.

What is surprising, however, is the seriousness with which Ms Swinson took her new position as Head Girl. As a part of her campaign to stay number one, Jo is now going to walk to school today. And to answer you question, dear resident of East Dunbartonshire, she has nothing better to do.

Jo was very excited about her carbon netural method of getting to school

Danny Alexander: Macho Man

2007-01-10T14:44:00.000Z

The latest edition of the Inverness Courier carries a "people's" interview with Danny Alexander. Where the good folk of the 'sneck get to ask Danny some probing questions.

It is, for the most part, a fairly dull interview where Danny tries hard to please everyone.

Everyone, that is, except the homosexual community.

Danny was asked this question:

Q. I read in the Courier that you have asked the Governement to consider supporting the right of churches to ban gay groups from their premises. How can you justify this outright discrimination? Jan Duncan, Inverness.

Which relates to views which he expressed here.

In response to the question, Danny states:

Goods and services are needed by everyone, and where a commercial service is being offered to the public it is right that individuals should not suffer the humiliation, distress or lack of amenity of refusal on grounds of their sexual orientation. Preventing such discrimination is the purpose of the regulations that will soon be proposed.

However, it seems to me that some limited exemptions to these regulations are appropriate to make sure that correctly extending the rights of one group does not unacceptably curtail the freedoms of another.

I would like to see some religious exemptions in relation to churches. These should cover buildings whose function is as a place of worship and to the specific doctrinal activities of that religion.

This would prevent a church or other building of worship from being forced to hire itself out to a group that it believed would contradict the doctrines of its faith. This seems to me to be a fair way to tackle the unacceptable discrimination that is seen far too often, whilst ensuring the freedom of religious groups to practice their faith is also protected.

This will come as news to the Lib Dem peers who yesterday voted with the government to prevent a challenge by Lord Morrow which would have allowed religious groups to prevent homosexuals from using church facilities.

Do the Lib Dems support Danny’s position?

More to the point, what do gay rights groups think?

"And would the Secretary of State agree with me that I'm a bit of a twit?"

Argyll FibDem Charade

2007-01-10T14:20:00.000Z

It would appear that the Fibs are not getting away with their theatrics in the local press these days. As regulars may remember this the same party which was exposed for printing "bogus endorsement quotes in their "Moray Times" news sheet in the Moray by-election.

Now it would seem that the Dunoon Observer is aware of their little "charade" (their words not ours) as this response to a letter by Argyll couple Alan Reid MP and George Lyon MSP shows:

Enough is enough!

Editor -- We had noted at the public meeting that SNP MEP Alyn Smith had said that EU rules now allow the Scottish Executive to pay a passenger subsidy to a ferry operator who is also carrying vehicles on an unrestricted basis.

In last week s Observer SNP MSP Jim Mather wrote that this was a distortion of what Alyn Smith had actually said.

It is vitally important that our representative in the European Parliament clarifies what EU rules allow.

Can Alyn Smith please clarify what he actually said and let us know whether or not he believes that EU rules allow the Scottish Executive to pay a passenger subsidy to a ferry operator who is also carrying vehicles on an unrestricted basis between Dunoon and Gourock?

Yours sincerely

Alan Reid MP and George Lyon MSP

Editor note:

Why don't you ask him?

This is getting silly.

The public view of this matter was made abundantly clear at the meeting; this matter is too important for party politics.

All parties on the platform, including the signatories of the above letter made a clear commitment to work together to achieve the best possible result.

The way to do that is via e-mails or telephone, or letters between the parties concerned.

It's simple, direct and eliminates any misunderstanding or ambiguity - it also eliminates unnecessary delay.

If you want to know what Mr Smith means, ask him directly, not through the pages of this paper.

This charade is over - start talking to one another and stop the kindergarten politics.

Hear! Hear!

No-one was impressed at George's contribution to the debate

2006 Round Up

2007-01-05T11:03:00.000Z

After a holiday hiatus, in which Squealer found new resolve to expose the deceit of the Liberal Democrats, it is once more into the breach.

In order to round out the year past, in which readers will agree the Fibs reached new dizzying heights of fibbery we see Wil-lie Rennie getting newfound praise for his attempts to ban cluster munitions. Shame on the Scotsman (mostly for not reading our blog where the story broke).

Not to be outshone, Nicol ‘who?’ Stephen continued his delusions of grandeur in his New Years message, claiming that the Lib’s could become the largest party next year North of the border. I imagine they are citing their ever-reliable and trustworthy polling data.

Nora Radcliffe went even further into madness, claiming that the Liberal Democrats were the inheritors of Dr Martin Luther Kings mantle. The Gordon MSP released their new housing scheme under the headline ‘Lib Dems have a dream of more affordable housing’ . The Scotsman somewhat redeemed itself today - quoting Peter MacMahon, ‘The idea that Ms Radcliffe, estimable though she may be, leading a march of million to the steps of Holyrood and proclaiming that she had a dream for land reform is laughable were it not so crass’. All true, but more to the point, haven't they had 7 years as part of the Government to change this?

And no New Year round up would be complete without a bit about Ms Swinson. Again she is campaigning against the closure Post Offices...this time in England. Not only is she confused about where her constituency is, she is confused of her party’s policy.

"I have a dream, a dream that one day my party will not be judged by the content of its policies but rather by its colourful lies"

More Fibs On Nukes

2006-12-22T11:01:00.000Z

Yesterday in the Scottish Parliament the SNP put forward a motion for debate on the following:

That the Parliament notes the publication by the UK Government of its White Paper on the future of the Trident nuclear missile system on Monday 4 December 2006; recognises the need for a full debate to explore the military, economic and political consequences of Trident renewal and believes that a convincing case can be made, in military, economic and political terms, for the non-replacement of Trident, and calls on the UK Government not to go ahead at this time with the proposal in the White Paper.

This would appear to even cover the Lib Dem "wait til 2014" stance, but at the very least it covers those who are of the opinion that Trident should not be replaced, as found here.

So, in the end, how many Lib Dems voted for the motion?

Zero, that's how many.

Maybe they feel they can justify their stance, we're happy to hear from them if they wish to.

Nuke Mad Fib!

2006-12-16T11:47:00.000Z

We all know that the fibs have a very strong unanimous position on nuclear weapons.

This little gem from the BBC shows that the Fib MP's in Scotland whole heartedly agree with Ming's position on Trident. Oh wait....8 do not, 1 is not too sure (classic fibber) and 1 wants to keep Trident. Who is the Nuke mad Fibber? Are the eight happy with only keeping half the nukes? Squealer would like to know.

But readers, rest assured of one thing: they are all kinda sorta at the moment might be for or against nukes.

With a press of a button the one dissenter was quickly able to silence the other 9

Fibs in Gaol (South of Hadrian's Wall)

2006-12-15T14:51:00.000Z

While Squealer tries in vain to limit his comments to Scottish Fibbers, this one from England was just too good to pass up. A softball from the Labour back benches to Jack Straw during biz questions flagged up this howler:

Kitty Ussher (Burnley) (Lab): May we have a debate on the standards expected of local councillors who have been convicted of electoral fraud? My constituents would welcome the opportunity that such a debate would provide to hear the views of all Opposition Front-Bench spokespeople, especially those of the Liberal Democrats given that it is councillors from their party in my constituency, Mozaquir Ali and Manzoor Hussein, who have not yet resigned their seats, despite the basis on which they were elected having been proved in court to be fraudulent.
Mr. Straw: I accept my hon. Friend’s concern. Because we share local newspapers, I am aware of the case. It is shameful for the Liberal Democrat party not to have required the resignation of those people.

How we missed this one for so long I do not know. Vote rigging, charges, jail…and they won't resign their seats? Well at least children were not involved this time.

The Fibdem response is very principled as usual: A spokeswoman for the Liberal Democrats said because the councillors were planning an appeal against their convictions the party was unable to expel them.

Trident Tested

2006-12-14T17:30:00.000Z

According to the Scotland4Peace website 4 Lib Dem MSPs have said they are against Trident renewal.

Have they checked their party policy on this?

We find it more intriguing that another 13 Libs have failed to respond to the surveys which were sent out by the organisation.

What have they got to hide?

For Whom The Bridge Tolls

2006-12-08T11:03:00.000Z

An interesting article in Wednesday's Courier has been sent our way by a Dundee correspondent. We are, as ever, grateful for contributions to the site.

misterinquisitor@hotmail.co.uk is the address to use.

Anyway, we'll take some of the best bits from the article, and reproduce them for you here.

THE LIBERAL Democrats pledged their support for The Courier’s Scrap the Tolls campaign yesterday when they launched a petition to abolish the £1 fee to cross the Forth.

Until yesterday, the party had been sitting on the fence in relation to the Forth Road Bridge toll.

Liberal Democrats sitting on the fence?!? Surely not!

It gets better.

Dunfermline and West Fife MP Willie Rennie said he had been reluctant to jump on the anti-tolls bandwagon because of concerns about congestion.

Really?!? This wouldn't be the same Willie Rennie who centred his Dunfermline & West Fife by-election ~~swindle~~ victory on a petition against an increase in tolls, would it?!?!

I mean, there cannot be any photographic evidence of Willie being against tolling on the Forth Road Bridge, can there?

The article then continues at pace to point out that the person in charge of tolling on the Forth, is none other than our favourite road safety campaigner and property market guru, Ravishing Tavish-ing Scott.

So, Willie, when will you be lobbying your own party hierarchy on this one then?

Rather than duping the electorate with a "petition" which always seems to rear its head at election time?

The e-mail address is at the top, or you could leave a comment to let us know.

We'd LOVE to hear from you.

Baby of The House vs Bumbling Hypocrite

2006-12-06T12:32:00.000Z

In the battle to have the worst oral question to the FCO yesterday, two contenders emerged.

Contender one: Willie Rennie

Continuing his bumbling rank hypocrisy, Wil-lie Rennie asked a question, you guessed it, on cluster bombs. Although his question was grouped with fellow fibber John Leech he did get a good follow up in. We give Willie top marks for continuing his inconsistency in the chamber in standing up for this issue. It is clear he works somewhat tirelessly, when he feels like it, in banning the bombs he helped to sell. We also give him bonus points for the irony of using the term ‘dumb’ to describe the wares he helped to hawk.

Score 9/10

Contender two: Jo Swinson

Jo was keen to pick up where Wil-lie left off. Her question on ‘rubber bullets’ was a real howler.
Even though the Ministers witty response that, ‘she (Swinson) will acknowledge that rubber bullets are a hell of a lot better than ordinary metal ammunition, which tends to kill people or blow their arms off’, did detract a few points she quickly made them up again as she followed the new Fibdem trend of wanting to ban weapons that kill scores of people every year whilst supporting those that have the potential to indiscriminately kill the entire human race. Squealer is often paralysed with fear at the thought of the instant apocalypse that rubber bullets will bring.

Given her past PQ performances she must be given a few marks for keeping the streak alive.

Score 9/10

A tie! Squealer must wait for another showdown…he shan’t have to wait long.

I think the judging is biased. I lie way more often than Willie...lazy bloggers!

Is it all unravelling?

2006-12-05T16:49:00.000Z

Porridge doth wonder after the Duncan Thorp embarrasment for Ming? I suspect this wasn't in the post-Dunfermline plan.

Nor was Councillor Niall Walker walking out the party after a spat over standing for Holyrood.

Then we have the case of Derek Young being unceremoniously dumped as a candidate in Edinburgh.

And "young unknown" Alex Cole-Hamilton being placed higher by members than the sitting FibDem MSP in their Mid Scotland and Fife list for the Scottish Parliament elections.

Such dumping, demoting and walk outs are usually the hall mark of a party ill at ease with itself.

However the man who will be First Minister does face some parliamentary problems which may be taking his mind of things of things like putting the party at ease with itself.

Passengers often wondered where Nichol was taking them

Trouble at Ming's Mill

2006-12-05T14:47:00.000Z

It would appear not all can be happy in the offices of Ming and his partner MSP Iain Smith according to the Herald:

A LibDem press officer yesterday said he would stand for Holyrood as an Independent in the Lothians. Duncan Thorp, a former aide to LibDem MSP Iain Smith, said he understood why voters were disillusioned.

According to this report "until last Thursday" he worked for Mr Smith. Duncan says:

"over the last few years working for the Scottish Liberal Democrats I have become increasingly disillusioned with the entire party political system."

Porridge would suggest that he shouldn't judge all parties on the basis of how the Fibs notoriously operate.

Anyway, more embarrassing for the Fibs is the fact that Duncan is still on Mr Smith's Parliament webpages:

Duncan's website also has some revealing comments on how he feels about the inside track in FibDemmery:

ÂFor many years working in the Scottish Parliament I have seen the reality of what happens behind the scenes in Scottish politics and I can fully understand the disillusionment felt by so many people.

I suppose it would be argued that he wasn't that important but considering the intertwined way Charles Dundas operates within Ming's office, old Porridge wonders just what practices Duncan witnessed to disillusion him within Ming's inner sanctum.

Happily Duncan has allowed us to ask him , so "Ask Duncan" what Fibbery made him disillusioned.

Ming was impressed at how his Scottish manifesto was coming along

Conducting Research... Honest!!!

2006-12-05T11:43:00.000Z

MisterInquisitor awoke this morning to find an e-mail from FibDems' Aberdeen mole in his inbox.

Contained within was the link to a story of a Lib Dem Councillor in Aberdeen admitting he accessed pornographic prostitute websites via council computers.

Martin Greig, the councillor for Ashley in Aberdeen, claimed, in his defence, that he was simply conducting "research" as part of his role as chair of the Sex Industry Forum.

One wonders why he had to bother with looking up websites on prostitution when he could have spoken to an expert on the subject.

Of course, regular workers who admit to accessing such sites would be sacked from their job. One wonders what makes Cllr Greig so special that he avoids even as much as a rap on the knuckles?

The whole episode does leave MisterInquisitor, and other FibDems correspondents, wondering what else Cllr Greig would be willing to do in the name of "research"...

UPDATE:

It seems "research" is an excuse which the Fibs are fond of using.

Of course, their councillors don't always make a good impression in the eyes of the law...

Evil by Half

2006-12-01T15:29:00.000Z

The Liberals have announced that they have finally made their minds up on Trident.

After telling us earlier, through pronouncements by luminaries such as Euan Robson, that they thought nuclear weapons were evil (but they should still retain them) Ming the Hopeless has now decided that we should retain half the current stockpile. Around 100 warheads.

So, against nuclear power (allegedly) but in favour of nuclear weapons of mass destruction.

That's a principled stance for you.

Our Favourite Fife Flip-Flopper

2006-11-30T14:41:00.000Z

Happy St Andrews Day to one and all.

Speaking of St Andrews Day, let's see what Iain Smith (MSP for North East Fife) has had to say over a period on the matter of declaring St Andrews Day a public holiday.

S1M-1413 Iain Smith (North East Fife) (LD) : St Andrew's Day National Holiday— That the Parliament recognises the importance of St Andrew's Day as Scotland's national day and calls upon the Scottish Executive to declare St Andrew's Day a national public holiday celebrating the diversity and history of Scotland.
Supported by: Donald Gorrie, Ms Fiona McLeod, Michael Russell, Dr Winnie Ewing, Mr Kenneth Gibson, Irene McGugan, Shona Robison, Ms Sandra White, Mr Adam Ingram, Mr Alex Neil, Mr Gil Paterson, Tommy Sheridan, Mr Robin Harper, Brian Adam, Mr Kenny MacAskill, Tricia Marwick, Mr Andrew Welsh, Alasdair Morgan, Mrs Nora Radcliffe, Mr Andrew Wilson, Mr Keith Raffan, Mr Lloyd Quinan, Mr Jamie Stone, Ms Roseanna Cunningham, Mr Michael Matheson
Lodged on 30 November 2000; not current as of 23 January 2001

Then in a debate in 2005 on the introduction of a Members Bill by Dennis Canavan.

I disagree with one fundamental policy intention—it is included in the policy memorandum—of Dennis Canavan's bill. I refer to the intention to create an additional holiday. I have always believed that a St Andrew's day holiday should be created by replacing an existing holiday—my preference would be for the replacement of the spring bank holiday—as we did in the Scottish Parliament. We created a St Andrew's day holiday for our staff by replacing another holiday.

Eagle eyed readers will notice that Mr Smith makes no mention in his motion of 2000 about replacing an existing holiday. In any case, he did not vote in favour of the Bill at Stage One.

Finally, the issue was debated yesterday in Parliament as the Bill reached Stage 3. Here is what Iain Smith had to say on the Bill (which was the same one he made those comments about in 2005 with no amendments tabled)

I support the bill.

Never let it be said Mr Smith is not consistent in his approach.

I imagine he'll be changing his tune on this bill in the coming months as well, no doubt.