Thursday, June 22, 2006
Oh No Jo
Jo Swinson MP, Fib Dem representative for East Dunbartonshire, is on a mission. A mission to see how many useless questions she can ask at Prime Minister's Questions.
Exhibit A:
Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): As the Prime Minister says goodbye to his fourth Tory leader, is it not also time to say goodbye to the Punch and Judy style of Prime Minister's questions?
A petty point-scoring effort, of absolutely no use to man nor beast. Raise your game Jo, your constituents didn't elect you to ask these sorts of questions.
And then, just yesterday:
Exhibit B:
Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): Does the Prime Minister agree that whatever his Government’s views on nuclear power, it is the Scottish Executive who will decide whether to allow the building of new nuclear power stations in Scotland?
A question asking the Prime Minister to AGREE with her, on an issue which has been public knowledge since before she was elected.
Come on Jo, giving the Prime Minister an easy ride of things is meant to be Ming's job.
Exhibit A:
Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): As the Prime Minister says goodbye to his fourth Tory leader, is it not also time to say goodbye to the Punch and Judy style of Prime Minister's questions?
A petty point-scoring effort, of absolutely no use to man nor beast. Raise your game Jo, your constituents didn't elect you to ask these sorts of questions.
And then, just yesterday:
Exhibit B:
Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): Does the Prime Minister agree that whatever his Government’s views on nuclear power, it is the Scottish Executive who will decide whether to allow the building of new nuclear power stations in Scotland?
A question asking the Prime Minister to AGREE with her, on an issue which has been public knowledge since before she was elected.
Come on Jo, giving the Prime Minister an easy ride of things is meant to be Ming's job.
Would the Prime Minister agree with me that the clock is ticking on my political career?
Sunday, April 01, 2007
Financial Fibbery
From reading this article you could be forgiven for thinking that Jo Swinson was saying the Fibs were appalled at MPs getting £10,000 a year in expenses to 'communicate' with their constituents:
Liberal Democrat Jo Swinson said: "It is a huge amount of taxpayers' money that is not warranted to be spent on this."
Here’s the full roll-call of honour of those Lib Dem MPs who did oppose the allowance:
Baker, Norman; Barrett, John; Brooke, Annette; Bruce, rh Malcolm; Carmichael, Mr. Alistair; Clegg, Mr. Nick; Farron, Tim; Goldsworthy, Julia; Harris, Dr. Evan; Heath, Mr. David; Holmes, Paul; Horwood, Martin; Howarth, David; Hughes, Simon; Huhne, Chris; Laws, Mr. David; Leech, Mr. John; Öpik, Lembit; Rennie, Will-lie; Sanders, Mr. Adrian; Stunell, Andrew; Swinson, Jo; Taylor, Matthew; Webb, Steve.
The full list from the division lobby of ayes and noes is available here.
Not a great link as it doesn't tell you the party of each member. However this one does and lists these Fibs as grabbing "a huge amount of taxpayers' money that is not warranted to be spent on this":
Danny Alexander (Inverness, Nairn, Badenoch & Strathspey)
Tom Brake (Carshalton & Wallington)
Colin Breed (South East Cornwall)
Paul Burstow (Sutton & Cheam)
Lorely Burt (Solihull)
Vincent Cable (Twickenham)
Lynne Featherstone (Hornsey & Wood Green)
Don Foster (Bath)
Mike Hancock (Portsmouth South)
Nick Harvey (North Devon)
Susan Kramer (Richmond Park)
Michael Moore (Berwickshire, Roxburgh & Selkirk)
Greg Mulholland (Leeds North West)
Mark Oaten (Winchester)
Alan Reid (Argyll & Bute)
Daniel Rogerson (North Cornwall)
Bob Russell (Colchester)
Stephen Williams (Bristol West)
Jennifer Willott (Cardiff Central)
It will be interesting to see if Jo chides Danny in public and also doesn't take the money she says is "not warranted to be spent on this".
Ming congratulated Jo on another successful hustle on the taxpayers
Saturday, September 23, 2006
The East Dunbartonshire Question?
Need one say more than "Jo Swinson". The question being "How?"...as in how in heaven's name did she get elected?
After becoming unstuck with her own LibDem run-council you would think she would learn her lesson of saying one thing whilst her party does another whether it be political advertising, pensioners, or nuclear power. Of course considering some of her questions (1, 2) is that any surprise?
Her latest offering is this example of FibDemmery designed to make the Fibs look like they are complete innocents when it comes to constitutional problems:
After becoming unstuck with her own LibDem run-council you would think she would learn her lesson of saying one thing whilst her party does another whether it be political advertising, pensioners, or nuclear power. Of course considering some of her questions (1, 2) is that any surprise?
Her latest offering is this example of FibDemmery designed to make the Fibs look like they are complete innocents when it comes to constitutional problems:
Jo Swinson, the party's spokeswoman for Scotland, insisted that failure to answer the "West Lothian Question" would do long-term constitutional damage.
Addressing a fringe meeting, Ms Swinson said: "Our current constitutional arrangements are unsustainable. The West Lothian Question has never been adequately answered and if not addressed, the anomalies it highlights will continue to fester and fuel resentment against Scottish MPs over time."
Is that right Jo? Then perhaps you could explain why your own party took part in creating that anomaly? And why you continue to let it fester by voting in Parliament as a Scottish MP on such issues as English Council Tax, the English Environment and Countryside, English Special Schools, English Dentistry and Primary Health Care, and English Licensing laws?
Or is this yet another example of the Fibs pretending to be one thing whilst doing another?
Or is this yet another example of the Fibs pretending to be one thing whilst doing another?
Jo was also stumped when people asked her the time
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Another Triumph at Scottish Questions
Squealer prophesized not so long ago that he would not have to wait very long for Jo Swinson to stick her foot in it again.
Swinson pitched up this softball congratulating the Government on their policy of letting 18 year old's to stand for elections.
Swinson pitched up this softball congratulating the Government on their policy of letting 18 year old's to stand for elections.
Jo Swinson ( East Dunbartonshire) (LD): There is concern in all parties about low turnout among young people in elections. Next May, for the first time in Scotland, 18-year-old candidates, including the Liberal Democrat challenger in the First Minister's constituency, will stand for election. I hope that the Minister and the First Minister welcome the implementation of that new law. When will the Government take the next step and encourage more young people to play an active part in the political process by introducing voting at 16?Maybe Fib Dems should be keeping count of the number of times Jo fumbles the ball at Scottish Questions but we'd lose count because of the outbreaks of laughter.
David Cairns: First, the hon. Lady could have said that it is a reform introduced by the Government that allows 18-year-olds to stand as candidates. That provision did not fall out of a clear blue sky. It underlines our commitment to engaging with young people and ensuring that they play a full part.
I name this ship the HMS Hopeless. May God bless her and all who sail on her.
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Good Grief
My thanks to Guido for pointing out that Jo Swinson, yes that's right Jo Swinson, has been labelled as top Lib Dem totty by The Sun.
Now, we at Fib Dems have always been more than a little eager to point out that when it comes to political statements, Ms Swinson displays the qualities of a supermodel. Namely a lack of intelligence.
Jo doesn't really do it for us though. Neither do any of her fellow "stunners" in the Lib Dems.
We're more captivated by Claire Ward, Labour MP for Watford.
Now, we at Fib Dems have always been more than a little eager to point out that when it comes to political statements, Ms Swinson displays the qualities of a supermodel. Namely a lack of intelligence.
Jo doesn't really do it for us though. Neither do any of her fellow "stunners" in the Lib Dems.
We're more captivated by Claire Ward, Labour MP for Watford.
See what we mean? Foxy lady.
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Perhaps I should have read the White Paper...
Oh no Jo v3!
It keeps getting worse. Squealer once again saw Ms. Swinson charge into the breach only to be repelled by the most feared Ministerial one-liner "Yes, and we have said that in the White Paper".
Whoopsies! Yesterday during DWP questions Swinson delivered this gem:
Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): Does the Secretary of State agree that one of the reasons for the high levels of outstanding CSA debt is the ridiculously long repayment terms that are given? A constituent of mine is owed £9,000 and she has been told that her ex-husband can repay it over 39 years. Will the CSA replacement body get tough on the maintenance cheats and enforce repayments over much shorter time scales, to make sure that the money gets to the children while they are still children?
Mr. Hutton: Yes, and we have said that in the White Paper.
Another classic example of an attempt to make a cheap political point only to have it spectacularly backfire. Like a cluster-bomb. Of course she has a history of hilarity in the chamber...here, here, here...well you get the picture.
Squealer will continue to enthusiastically sift through Hansard to find more knee-slappers.
It keeps getting worse. Squealer once again saw Ms. Swinson charge into the breach only to be repelled by the most feared Ministerial one-liner "Yes, and we have said that in the White Paper".
Whoopsies! Yesterday during DWP questions Swinson delivered this gem:
Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): Does the Secretary of State agree that one of the reasons for the high levels of outstanding CSA debt is the ridiculously long repayment terms that are given? A constituent of mine is owed £9,000 and she has been told that her ex-husband can repay it over 39 years. Will the CSA replacement body get tough on the maintenance cheats and enforce repayments over much shorter time scales, to make sure that the money gets to the children while they are still children?
Mr. Hutton: Yes, and we have said that in the White Paper.
Another classic example of an attempt to make a cheap political point only to have it spectacularly backfire. Like a cluster-bomb. Of course she has a history of hilarity in the chamber...here, here, here...well you get the picture.
Squealer will continue to enthusiastically sift through Hansard to find more knee-slappers.
The Chamber buzzed with excitement: Swinson was about to deliver another screamer
Wednesday, September 06, 2006
Oh No Jo....Again
Poor Jo Swinson.
As if it wasn't bad enough being grossly incompetent and hideously underqualified, now her own party has ascertained as much.
Witness the reaction of John Morrison, leader of Jo's local council, when she decided to add her tuppensworth to a local education dispute.
FibDems cannot help but find it appropriate that, during the Festival of Politics, Jo Swinson was asked to take part in a "Balloon" debate...
As if it wasn't bad enough being grossly incompetent and hideously underqualified, now her own party has ascertained as much.
Witness the reaction of John Morrison, leader of Jo's local council, when she decided to add her tuppensworth to a local education dispute.
FibDems cannot help but find it appropriate that, during the Festival of Politics, Jo Swinson was asked to take part in a "Balloon" debate...
Scottish spokesperson? You're having a laugh!!!
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Nuclear Dumpling
My thanks to MisterInquisitor for pointing out Jo Swinson's appallingly poor question at Prime Minister's question time. It really does give a great opportunity to show another fib from the party that brought you "Nicol Stephen - the next Emperor of the Universe".
It would appear that wur Jo wants to give the impression that the Fibs are impacabbly opposed to nuclear power. Oh really Josephine? Is that why your party in the Scottish Parliament refused to rule out nuclear power and voted against a motion which quoted their own leader's opposition to nuclear power?
Just in case you forgot here's his words from the motion:
It would appear that wur Jo wants to give the impression that the Fibs are impacabbly opposed to nuclear power. Oh really Josephine? Is that why your party in the Scottish Parliament refused to rule out nuclear power and voted against a motion which quoted their own leader's opposition to nuclear power?
Just in case you forgot here's his words from the motion:
"The Liberal Democrats have a tough, clear and consistent position across the UK….We oppose new nuclear power.... the Liberal Democrats remain determined to oppose this year, next year and every year."
Jo was reluctant unfold the rest of the advert for
fewer-reasons-to-vote-for-jo-swinson.org.uk
Friday, January 19, 2007
Swinson takes poll to heart
We here at FibDems endeavoured to create a highly scientific poll (much the same as the ones used by Liberals) to find out who was the most ridiculous Scottish Liberal Democrat. The results so far are hardly surprising. Jo Swinson currently polls at 33% followed by Wil-lie Rennie at 19% and Nicol ‘who?’ Stephen at 14%.
What is surprising, however, is the seriousness with which Ms Swinson took her new position as Head Girl. As a part of her campaign to stay number one, Jo is now going to walk to school today. And to answer you question, dear resident of East Dunbartonshire, she has nothing better to do.
What is surprising, however, is the seriousness with which Ms Swinson took her new position as Head Girl. As a part of her campaign to stay number one, Jo is now going to walk to school today. And to answer you question, dear resident of East Dunbartonshire, she has nothing better to do.
Jo was very excited about her carbon netural method of getting to school
Friday, April 20, 2007
FibDem Poll Update
Squealer is all riled up about polling and the Scottish Parliament Election. In a poll that rivals the LibDem's standards for accuracy and margin of error, we are proud to once again publish our ‘Who is the Most Ridiculous Lib Dem in Scotland Poll’. It has pushed by the significant 300 mark. (This is about 300 times the average sample size used by Fibs in their dodgy bar charts.)
Jo Swinson 30%, Nicol Stephen 21%, Willie Rennie 18%, George Lyon 8%, Alan Reid 6%, Danny Alexander 6%
Squealer believes that Oh No Jo Swinson is a strong frontrunner. However he is slightly perplexed that people even knew to vote for Nicol ‘Who’ Stephen since no one appears to know who he is. Willie Rennie is an outside favourite, and given his position on tolling and cluster bombs, he could rumble his Westminster colleague if his hypocrisy continues. We encourage all readers to vote, and if there are any fibs who you think should be added to the list, please let us know.
Jo Swinson 30%, Nicol Stephen 21%, Willie Rennie 18%, George Lyon 8%, Alan Reid 6%, Danny Alexander 6%
Squealer believes that Oh No Jo Swinson is a strong frontrunner. However he is slightly perplexed that people even knew to vote for Nicol ‘Who’ Stephen since no one appears to know who he is. Willie Rennie is an outside favourite, and given his position on tolling and cluster bombs, he could rumble his Westminster colleague if his hypocrisy continues. We encourage all readers to vote, and if there are any fibs who you think should be added to the list, please let us know.
Ming appeared confused by the words 'significant sample size', 'accuracy', 'margin of error', 'representative' and 'truthful' when he was considering a polling firm.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Swinson on a roll
A reader asks if we can include another nugget of brilliance from Ms Swinson, this time aimed at the Secretary of State for Scotland
Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): Given that there are 13,000 deaths each year as a result of smoking and many more thousands of people suffer illnesses as a result of the harmful effects of tobacco smoke, does the Secretary of State agree that the smoking ban in public places in Scotland will improve public health and that a healthier work force must therefore be good for the economy?
Mr. Darling: That is a very difficult question, but I think that the answer is yes.
Jo has clearly been taking too many tips from her leader on how to ask difficult questions.
Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): Given that there are 13,000 deaths each year as a result of smoking and many more thousands of people suffer illnesses as a result of the harmful effects of tobacco smoke, does the Secretary of State agree that the smoking ban in public places in Scotland will improve public health and that a healthier work force must therefore be good for the economy?
Mr. Darling: That is a very difficult question, but I think that the answer is yes.
Jo has clearly been taking too many tips from her leader on how to ask difficult questions.
Does the Secretary of State agree with me that bears **** in the woods?
Thursday, October 19, 2006
Oh YES Jo!
Mr and Mrs Inquisitor are proud to announce the arrival of a bouncing blog entry when we heard that "Jo Swinson, LibDem spokeswoman on Scotland, has become one of the first MPs to make video clips of her appearances in parliament available on her website".
Now, regular visitors to FibDem Towers will know we have always been more than a little eager to point out that when it comes to political statements, Ms Swinson displays the qualities of a supermodel. Namely a lack of intelligence.
We await with baited breath to see if Jo will allow voters to view the utter humiliation she has experienced after her "appearances".
Now, regular visitors to FibDem Towers will know we have always been more than a little eager to point out that when it comes to political statements, Ms Swinson displays the qualities of a supermodel. Namely a lack of intelligence.
We await with baited breath to see if Jo will allow voters to view the utter humiliation she has experienced after her "appearances".
"1...2...3...5...6...8...9..."
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Pot, kettle, black
Hilarious! School debate champion Jo Swinson has called for the same advertising controls on political parties that everyone else has to be subject to.
In a debate in Westminster Hall she said: "We should also consider the importance of advertising restrictions, which already govern radio and television advertising, keeping up with new and increasingly used forms of media such as billboards."
Is this the same party which just a few weeks ago was printing "bogus endorsement quotes in their "Moray Times", publishing madey up polls as if they are real, and telling voters one thing whilst doing another thing in power.
Surely Jo would not be part of this cynical local campaigning style whilst her party is doing the exact opposite in power in Edinburgh? Would she...?
In a debate in Westminster Hall she said: "We should also consider the importance of advertising restrictions, which already govern radio and television advertising, keeping up with new and increasingly used forms of media such as billboards."
Is this the same party which just a few weeks ago was printing "bogus endorsement quotes in their "Moray Times", publishing madey up polls as if they are real, and telling voters one thing whilst doing another thing in power.
Surely Jo would not be part of this cynical local campaigning style whilst her party is doing the exact opposite in power in Edinburgh? Would she...?
Oh Jo...what a let down.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Our readership grows...
T’would appear our readership grows amongst the ranks of Hon. and Rt. Hon. Members of Parliament.
What else would explain this two-day, triple whammy?
First to have a go was Angus Robertson who aptly noted the Liberals classic kinda, sorta, maybe for or against nuclear weapons stance.
Angus Robertson: On the question of commitments, perhaps we could have some clarity from the Liberal Democrats. At the weekend, we had a demonstration in Scotland against the new generation of Trident weapons. The head of the Church of Scotland said that they were “morally and theologically wrong”. Cardinal Keith O’Brien said that they were “immoral”. A poll also revealed that 81 per cent. of Liberal Democrats would rather have the cost of Trident spent elsewhere. Is that the position of the Liberal Democrat party or will it continue to ride roughshod over the wishes of its voters and majority opinion in Scotland?
Nick Harvey: The opinion of the Liberal Democrats remains that Britain’s minimum nuclear deterrent should be sustained for the foreseeable future. We hope very much that in the future circumstances will be created in which it can safely be decommissioned, but those circumstances do not exist at the moment. That is the policy that we will continue to pursue. We do not believe that the decision to renew the submarine fleet is necessary at the moment, but we remain committed to the principle of the minimum nuclear deterrent.
Second was the first of two bombasts in Scottish Questions yesterday. Mark Lazarowicz pitched up a beauty softball to his own team about Nicol ‘Who?’ Stephen’s big night out at the BAFTAs
What else would explain this two-day, triple whammy?
First to have a go was Angus Robertson who aptly noted the Liberals classic kinda, sorta, maybe for or against nuclear weapons stance.
Angus Robertson: On the question of commitments, perhaps we could have some clarity from the Liberal Democrats. At the weekend, we had a demonstration in Scotland against the new generation of Trident weapons. The head of the Church of Scotland said that they were “morally and theologically wrong”. Cardinal Keith O’Brien said that they were “immoral”. A poll also revealed that 81 per cent. of Liberal Democrats would rather have the cost of Trident spent elsewhere. Is that the position of the Liberal Democrat party or will it continue to ride roughshod over the wishes of its voters and majority opinion in Scotland?
Nick Harvey: The opinion of the Liberal Democrats remains that Britain’s minimum nuclear deterrent should be sustained for the foreseeable future. We hope very much that in the future circumstances will be created in which it can safely be decommissioned, but those circumstances do not exist at the moment. That is the policy that we will continue to pursue. We do not believe that the decision to renew the submarine fleet is necessary at the moment, but we remain committed to the principle of the minimum nuclear deterrent.
Second was the first of two bombasts in Scottish Questions yesterday. Mark Lazarowicz pitched up a beauty softball to his own team about Nicol ‘Who?’ Stephen’s big night out at the BAFTAs
Mark Lazarowicz: My hon. Friend will be aware of aviation’s growing contribution to greenhouse gas emissions in the UK and elsewhere. In Scotland, however, the Liberal Democrat Minister for Transport, supported by other parties, is busily giving big subsidies to airlines to encourage even more flights and cheaper air travel. Will my hon. Friend discuss with the Executive how consistent that policy is with commitments by the UK Government and, indeed, by the Scottish Executive to reduce greenhouse gas emissions? .
David Cairns: My hon. Friend raises an extremely important issue. Aviation does contribute to carbon emissions and global warming. That is why we have long argued that it should be within the EU emissions trading scheme. It is important for politicians to show leadership and consistency. Each of us who is a Scottish Member accepts that we fly more often than the average citizen and more often than is altogether good for the planet, but it is important that we are consistent. It ill becomes politicians to declare one day that they will not take any non-essential flights, and the next day to catch a flight down from Aberdeen to London to go to the BAFTAs. Perhaps that is just jealousy because I have never been invited to the BAFTAs, but the Deputy First Minister should show a little more personal consistency.
David Cairns: My hon. Friend raises an extremely important issue. Aviation does contribute to carbon emissions and global warming. That is why we have long argued that it should be within the EU emissions trading scheme. It is important for politicians to show leadership and consistency. Each of us who is a Scottish Member accepts that we fly more often than the average citizen and more often than is altogether good for the planet, but it is important that we are consistent. It ill becomes politicians to declare one day that they will not take any non-essential flights, and the next day to catch a flight down from Aberdeen to London to go to the BAFTAs. Perhaps that is just jealousy because I have never been invited to the BAFTAs, but the Deputy First Minister should show a little more personal consistency.
Third was ‘Oh No Jo!’ who, suddenly confused, thought she was on the other side of the House and attacked her own party. Just what is your (my, our, etc) stance on Independence and a referendum?
Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): Given that when they are asked, the favoured option of the Scottish people is neither independence nor the status quo, but for more powers to be given to the Scottish Parliament, why is the Secretary of State so blinkered as to maintain that the current settlement is the end of the road?
Mr. Alexander: Of course, we take a strong interest in the views of the Scottish people, but it is important to recognise the importance of consistency in political debate. The hon. Lady wrote in the last issue of The House Magazine that she was in favour of a further constitutional convention, but her erstwhile leader, the right hon. Member for Ross, Skye and Lochaber (Mr. Kennedy), who is two places along from her on the Front Bench, has said:
“There is always a temptation in human nature, where new institutions are concerned, to be drawn towards pulling up the roots just to see how the plant is growing.”
Badda Bing Badda Boom. These Scottish Questions just keep getting better. But in all fairness to Jo, according to some, perhaps Charlie was in no condition to give her a briefing.
The Clown's smiles turned to frowns when they realised they were being upstaged inside the buildingMonday, February 12, 2007
This is getting embarrassing
Oh no Jo v4!
She strikes again! After a short hiatus Squealer started to trawl through Hansard once more only to find that Oatens beat me to it. Save for this gem.
If the last embarrassment during DWP questions wasn’t punishment enough, Ms. Swinson with arms waving in head-girl-esque debating movements delivered this bombast:
Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): The Leader of the House mentioned the response that he gave two weeks ago to the request by my hon. Friend the Member for Somerton and Frome (Mr. Heath) for a debate on the Act of Union. He told us just now that he would think about it, but what he said then was:
“That is a good idea. I shall consult my right hon. Friend the Secretary of State for Scotland and I hope to make an announcement in due course.”—[ Official Report, 25 January 2007; Vol. 455, c. 1558.]
Does what he said just now mean that he consulted his right hon. Friend, who thought that it was a bad idea to have a debate on this important issue, or can we expect such a debate in the near future?
Mr. Straw: I do not think that there is much difference between what I said previously and what I said just now. I am thinking about it.
Queue the tumbleweed, then the bursts of uncontrollable laughter from all sides of the House
She strikes again! After a short hiatus Squealer started to trawl through Hansard once more only to find that Oatens beat me to it. Save for this gem.
If the last embarrassment during DWP questions wasn’t punishment enough, Ms. Swinson with arms waving in head-girl-esque debating movements delivered this bombast:
Jo Swinson (East Dunbartonshire) (LD): The Leader of the House mentioned the response that he gave two weeks ago to the request by my hon. Friend the Member for Somerton and Frome (Mr. Heath) for a debate on the Act of Union. He told us just now that he would think about it, but what he said then was:
“That is a good idea. I shall consult my right hon. Friend the Secretary of State for Scotland and I hope to make an announcement in due course.”—[ Official Report, 25 January 2007; Vol. 455, c. 1558.]
Does what he said just now mean that he consulted his right hon. Friend, who thought that it was a bad idea to have a debate on this important issue, or can we expect such a debate in the near future?
Mr. Straw: I do not think that there is much difference between what I said previously and what I said just now. I am thinking about it.
Queue the tumbleweed, then the bursts of uncontrollable laughter from all sides of the House
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Baby of The House vs Bumbling Hypocrite
In the battle to have the worst oral question to the FCO yesterday, two contenders emerged.
Contender one: Willie Rennie
Continuing his bumbling rank hypocrisy, Wil-lie Rennie asked a question, you guessed it, on cluster bombs. Although his question was grouped with fellow fibber John Leech he did get a good follow up in. We give Willie top marks for continuing his inconsistency in the chamber in standing up for this issue. It is clear he works somewhat tirelessly, when he feels like it, in banning the bombs he helped to sell. We also give him bonus points for the irony of using the term ‘dumb’ to describe the wares he helped to hawk.
Score 9/10
Contender two: Jo Swinson
Jo was keen to pick up where Wil-lie left off. Her question on ‘rubber bullets’ was a real howler.
Even though the Ministers witty response that, ‘she (Swinson) will acknowledge that rubber bullets are a hell of a lot better than ordinary metal ammunition, which tends to kill people or blow their arms off’, did detract a few points she quickly made them up again as she followed the new Fibdem trend of wanting to ban weapons that kill scores of people every year whilst supporting those that have the potential to indiscriminately kill the entire human race. Squealer is often paralysed with fear at the thought of the instant apocalypse that rubber bullets will bring.
Given her past PQ performances she must be given a few marks for keeping the streak alive.
Score 9/10
A tie! Squealer must wait for another showdown…he shan’t have to wait long.
Contender one: Willie Rennie
Continuing his bumbling rank hypocrisy, Wil-lie Rennie asked a question, you guessed it, on cluster bombs. Although his question was grouped with fellow fibber John Leech he did get a good follow up in. We give Willie top marks for continuing his inconsistency in the chamber in standing up for this issue. It is clear he works somewhat tirelessly, when he feels like it, in banning the bombs he helped to sell. We also give him bonus points for the irony of using the term ‘dumb’ to describe the wares he helped to hawk.
Score 9/10
Contender two: Jo Swinson
Jo was keen to pick up where Wil-lie left off. Her question on ‘rubber bullets’ was a real howler.
Even though the Ministers witty response that, ‘she (Swinson) will acknowledge that rubber bullets are a hell of a lot better than ordinary metal ammunition, which tends to kill people or blow their arms off’, did detract a few points she quickly made them up again as she followed the new Fibdem trend of wanting to ban weapons that kill scores of people every year whilst supporting those that have the potential to indiscriminately kill the entire human race. Squealer is often paralysed with fear at the thought of the instant apocalypse that rubber bullets will bring.
Given her past PQ performances she must be given a few marks for keeping the streak alive.
Score 9/10
A tie! Squealer must wait for another showdown…he shan’t have to wait long.
I think the judging is biased. I lie way more often than Willie...lazy bloggers!
Sunday, July 16, 2006
Dodgy goes Postal...
...at being found out.
An interesting post I found on RidiculousPolitics and one the doddery old fart missed (No, I know what you're thinking. I mean me and not Ming):
A bit like saying: "I have no plans to drive the car today and will be turning left at the junction in two minutes."
PS.2 Apologies for the slight edit Ridicuous but FibDem Towers being a multiparty venture some of the more sensitive creatures get a bit anxious if we draw away from the focus on the Fibs and bring in other parties. Ta for the link though.
An interesting post I found on RidiculousPolitics and one the doddery old fart missed (No, I know what you're thinking. I mean me and not Ming):
Lib Dem post office liesOld Porridge decided to look at Dodgy's remarks and was amazed at the gymnastic style fibbery: "We have no plans to privatise the Post Office [followed by] we would, by selling a minority holding in Royal Mail."
Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. It appears that the Lib Dems just keep on lying to everyone about their plans on the post office, and then go and shout more lies left right and centre.
Today we focus on Charlie Kennedy, who has launched a campaign to save the post office, apparently. He has delivered a petition to Number 10 calling on Tony to save the post office.
But the person who the post office most needs saved from is... Charlie Kennedy. Or Ming Campbell. Or, indeed, any Lib Dem going.
As we know, their policy is to privatise the post office. They would sell of 75% of shares in the Royal Mail, wth the majority of those being sold on the open market. The government would become a minority shareholder, not the sole shareholder.
But now they have been attacked by the SNP...but in an extraordinary development, fresh-faced Liberal MP Danny "my election leaflet looks like Heat magazine" Alexander, has claimed: "we have no plans to privatise the Post Office". This just ins't true.
Of the 75% of shares to be sold off, about two thirds would be sold on the open market, and the remaining third to employees (who would be free to sell their shares on to anyone they want).
The total composition of shares would look like this:
49% - private companies
25.5% - government
25.5% - employees
So it would just take 1% of shares to be sold by employees to private companies for the Lib Dems to have privatised the post office.
So it just isn't true to say "we have no plans to privatise the post office". Shame on you, but no surprise really.
You can read the Press and Journal story here.
A bit like saying: "I have no plans to drive the car today and will be turning left at the junction in two minutes."
Jo's spelling was improving but she always had trouble in remembering to put the "y" at the start of "your" in order to warn voters about her party's plans
PS.1 Jo Swinson seems to need her hand held a lot by that woman - Exhibit A, Exhibit B.PS.2 Apologies for the slight edit Ridicuous but FibDem Towers being a multiparty venture some of the more sensitive creatures get a bit anxious if we draw away from the focus on the Fibs and bring in other parties. Ta for the link though.
Saturday, May 27, 2006
Still fibbing on pensioners
The out of depth Jo Swinson has been having a go at Her Majesty's Government over their pensions policy by saying: "Scottish pensioners currently fail to claim the means-tested benefits to which they are entitled and these proposals will do nothing to reduce that figure."
However it was only two weeks ago that FibDems revealed that the responsibility for this lay with one of her own colleagues.
Trying to fool the old folk of East Dunbartonshire are we Jo?
However it was only two weeks ago that FibDems revealed that the responsibility for this lay with one of her own colleagues.
Trying to fool the old folk of East Dunbartonshire are we Jo?
"That's the bus to Scotland over there dear. Get on it and
sort out the mess you say you've made up there."
Saturday, May 12, 2007
Ming Must Stay!
He does after all provide us with this description of last Thursday's result as a 'mixed bag'.
Obviously this bag of sweeties didn't have Wurther's Old Original as a look at the results shows:
In Wales they achieved an enormous swing which saw their representation increase from 6 to a mind boggingly humumgous 6.
Obviously this bag of sweeties didn't have Wurther's Old Original as a look at the results shows:
In Wales they achieved an enormous swing which saw their representation increase from 6 to a mind boggingly humumgous 6.
England was even better as they stormed to losing 246 council seats in a night of ecstatic celebration.
And in Scotland they overtook all expectations by becoming the (fourth) largest party by increasing their overall total by minus 1 seat.
Maybe Ming was referring to Scotland when he referred to the results as a 'mixed bag' - a 'mixed bag' of target seats for all the other parties.
Old Porridge does take some delight in seeing the seat at the core of Michael Moore's constituency shape up to be a Tory gain next time round. One wonders when Michael will realise that being Ming's former chief of staff and current foreign affairs spokesperson may not be that rewarding, particularly since the council took on a brighter shade of blue.
The swing to the Nats in Argyll must have Mr Alan Reid wondering if he can airbrush out all mentions of that nice Mr Lyon from future leaflets. But since the council has gone semi-yellow and shut out the Fibs it may not leave the best impression of a party in decline.
Finally our old favourite Jo Swinson looks a dead cert for the chop as her core seat of Strathkelvin and Bearsden saw Labour not only take the prize but the Fibs crash to FIFTH place! They also lost control of the council in spectacular fashion.
Maybe Messers Reid and Moore and Miss Swinson will read the runes about Ming but the signs are that the party is in denial. Leaving them to regret not dusting off their CV's now.
Ming had suddenly become less keen on using bar charts
Thursday, October 19, 2006
More Pot, Kettle, Swinson
Jo Swinson isn't one to hide her piousness under a bushell. Criticising the Commons chiefs for keeping details of MPs' expenses secret she said "I just cannot understand why the authorities are not obeying this ruling. If the ruling is that they should be open and transparent, then I don't see the argument for not doing so."
Maybe she would like to mention this to her own party's Lord Steel who wasn't so "open and transparent" on confidentiality when it came to the Holyrood Project.
Maybe she would like to mention this to her own party's Lord Steel who wasn't so "open and transparent" on confidentiality when it came to the Holyrood Project.
"...and my Lord Steel still owes me a fiver from 1968..."
